Learning and Leading in Ministry: Chapter Twenty-One

Be Real

Learn honesty.

Kid McCoy got hit hard during a boxing match and pretended to be injured, drawing his opponent in and counterattacking him. McCoy, the USA champ in the welterweight division from 1898-1900, so surprised everyone with his move that the announcer supposedly asked, “Which is the real McCoy?” This is only one of several legends grown up about the origin of the well-known phrase, which makes one wonder if this tale is the real McCoy.

Lack of authenticity is the nemesis of a good conscience. The gap between the ideal and the reality might be called the phoniness quotient. You know who you are supposed to be but you struggle to match it up with who you really are. No less a figure than the Apostle Paul fought the same battle. “I do not understand what I do,” he wrote. “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me…For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:15-18 NIV). An unlikely confession from the greatest Christian who ever lived…or maybe, not.

Paul, after all, was nothing if he wasn’t honest. We talk in glowing terms about his considerable accomplishments, but he had another side to him. He had bad eyesight, a squeaky, irritating voice and his small stature give him a rather unimpressive physical presence. He got crossways with Simon Peter, he was difficult to please, and he couldn’t get along with the mild mannered Barnabus. He prayed prayers that God refused to answer, preached unproductive sermons, suffered resounding defeats in major missionary endeavors and failed to convert a number of people whom he specifically targeted for the gospel. At certain points in his ministry, he dropped out and went to work as a tentmaker.

These are not sour grape criticisms from Paul’s detractors. We know these things about him because he admitted them himself. In his own self assessment, he concluded that he was less than the least of all saints. But, these conspicuous weaknesses do not diminish him in our eyes. Rather, the fact that he reveals them himself further endears him to us, giving him far more credibility than if he had glossed over them. Herein lies a primary principle of life: the unvarnished truth always earns more respect in the long run than manipulation of the facts.

Brutal honesty does not mean we have to be offensive, or that we should hang out our dirty laundry for all the world to see. It does mean that any behavior that is intended to make people believe a sham is disingenuous. Leaders, by virtue of their position, come under the microscope far more than laity. Leaders must not only be right, they must project the appearance of righteousness as well.

Be real. If you don’t know something, don’t say you do. If you can’t do something, don’t say you can. You may not particularly like who you are, but you will always make a lousier somebody else. Maybe you don’t have much else going for you, but your insistence on being the genuine article will make up for whatever you lack.