Bits of Wisdom

You’ve heard of Murphy’s Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some:

Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Beach’s Law - Identical parts aren’t.
Anthony’s Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
Tussman’s Law - Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Lowery’s Law - If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Peer’s Law - The solution to a problem changes the problem.
William’s Law - There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
Handy Guide to Modern Science: If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s Biology. If it stinks, it’s Chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics.
IBM’s Pollyanna Principle - Machines should work. People should think.
The Dilbert Principle - The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.
Ehrlich’s Law - The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
Ralph’s Observation - It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
Cannon’s Comment - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Cole’s Law - Thinly sliced cabbage.
The Law of Reality - Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
The Law of Avoiding Oversell - When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
Law of Physical Displacement - Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant.
Legal Rights - Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
Law of Probable Dispersal - Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.