Commiseration

Okay, let’s run the full gamut of clichés.  You’ve got a burr under your saddle, a bee in your bonnet, a thorn in your side, an axe to grind, a bone to pick, a fly in your ointment, your hair’s on fire, you’re ready to bite someone’s head off … you get the picture.  You’re somewhere between mildly ticked off to flat-out furious.  You don’t like what is happening, but neither are you hankering for a full confrontation.  At the same time, you can’t get over it.  So, what do you do?  You look around for someone who feels just like you do! 

Commiseration feels so good!  When you risk voicing your complaints about the situation and find an understanding spirit, a listening ear, an affirming attitude, an agreeing mind, you wallow in vindication.  Ye-e-e-s-s-s-s!  I’m not crazy after all! “See, honey?  (to your spouse). She (or he) feels like I do! It’s not just me!”  People who seek commiseration never question their core attitude.  They seldom, if ever, sift through their applecart to see if a rotten apple is lodged somewhere in their heart.  It’s never them.  They dismiss or ignore anyone who disagrees with them.  (They’re brainwashed, they’re not sophisticated enough to understand, they have a vested interest in what’s going on, they’re clueless).  They keep looking until they spy a friendly face, someone sympathetic with their aggravated spirit. 

Then, when two people team up to share their beefs, it’s not hard to get a third person involved.  The third party thinks that if these two feel the same way, the issue must be legit.  At their prompting, he or she begins to see things that formerly went unnoticed.  Criticisms that never occurred before materialize out of nowhere, and soon, a negative spirit takes over.  As such, commiseration that starts out by venting, expressing a hurt or asking a not-so-innocent question grows into a faction, a movement or a mutiny.  The murmuring Israelites, the evil spies, the fickle crowds who left Jesus and a host of other Bible examples prove the point.  “Don’t be fooled by those who say such things. If you listen to them you will start acting like them.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (TLB). 

When you feel offended, you should check your own spirit first.  Why do you feel this way?  Are you just resisting change?  Is an insubordinate spirit being exposed?  Are you nursing a grudge?  Has your pride been wounded?  Remember the true test of submission comes when you are asked to do something you don’t want to do.  The last thing you should do is run to a sympathizer.  You need to be challenged, not mollified.  “Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!” But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” Matthew 16:22-23 (NKJV).  Jesus’ sharp rebuke of Peter could have been offensive, but Peter needed the correction.  Whenever you resist correction, whether actively or passively, you fall into the hands of the devil.   

Don’t seek commiseration.  Ask for truth.  Rebellion against authority never wins.  If something needs to be changed in the matter, enter into private prayer about it and let it go no further.  Seek out godly, prayerful counsel.  Keep your spirit pure and your will submissive.  You may find out that the entire scenario was different than you first surmised.