A Politically Correct, Sanitized Testimony

This testimony is all about an unknown person who means so much to me.  Since I live in a nation that guarantees me the right to religious freedom, I want to share with everyone the good news about this unknown person in the hopes that all who read this may come to know this unknown person as well as I do.

First of all, I would like to give honor to my unknown person, because he saved me and changed my life for the better.  It all happened when I received this unknown person into my life and understood what he did for me.  Before I knew this unknown person, my life was filled with darkness and despair.  This unknown person drove away this darkness and gave me the chance to have true light.  Also, this unknown person took depression and hopelessness away from me, and took up residence in my heart.  Now, I have the pleasure of the company of this unknown person every day of my life.

When this unknown person lived on this earth, he was raised in an unknown village in an unknown country, he walked the shores of an unknown sea, and he worked many unknown miracles.  He traveled as an unknown itinerant person with an unknown occupation, he taught many unknown people with wise and powerful unknown stories and doctrines.  There were some people, however, who did not like this unknown person.  They constantly criticized and attacked him because they knew that this unknown person claimed to be someone that they actually knew.  However these enemies of this unknown person did not really know him, even though they thought they did.  They were so convinced that they knew this unknown person that they unknowingly knowingly put him to death in an unknown manner, by use of an unknown method in an unknown city in an unknown country at an unknown period of time in the world. 

The enemies of this unknown person believed that they had rid the world of his unknown presence and power.  What they did not know, however, was that this unknown person came back to life in an unknown way, from an unknown tomb, loaned to him by an unknown friend.  He is alive even to this day, but it is unknown how many people have received him and how large a following he has because he must remain unknown to the world.  Today, all who know this unknown person rejoice in this knowledge that they do not know.  All I can say is that to know this unknown person is to love this unknown person, and to love this unknown person is to accept him and exalt his unknown name.

Aren’t you glad that in this free society, in this great nation that gives its citizens the freedom to worship according to the dictates of their conscience that all of us have the freedom to worship this unknown person without fear of reprisal, censorship, suppression or denial?  Yes!  In this nation, people can worship Mohammed, Satan, Humanism, the Great Spirit—and even this unknown person—or any other deity they believe in!  Even in our public schools that the citizens of this country support through their tax dollars (including citizens who worship this unknown person), children have the right to worship this unknown person and can pray to, speak of and write papers about this unknown person as long as this unknown person is known only as an unknown person.

We are indeed fortunate to live here where we are guaranteed such wide latitude in exercising our religious liberty.  May this unknown person help us if we ever take away the right to worship this unknown person and banish the mention of his name into anonymity.

This little piece is written in the light of a child who recently had the temerity to write a paper in a public school about this unknown person.  The problem with her paper was that she used an illegal name for this unknown person.  She was summarily given an “F” and told to remove the name that she assigned to this unknown person.  Only a hateful, bigoted, insensitive extremist would dare to use the actual name of this unknown person.  Such a violation of other people’s religious freedom cannot be tolerated. in a public school.

“For as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you.”   Acts 17:23 (KJV)