Dubious Assumptions

You can jump to the other lane because the traffic is moving faster.

No one will pull in ahead of you in the McDonald’s drive-thru.

The guy at the drive-thru got your order right.

You know right where you put your registration and proof of insurance.

The big, muscular guy knew you were just joking with him.

The new pair of pants will fit without trying them on.

The new tie will match the suit you have at home.

You can tee off because you can’t see the players in front of you.

Forgiveness is easier to get than permission.

The restaurant can accommodate ten when you only reserved a table for six.

The salsa is mild.

The hamburger you ordered will look just like the picture in the menu.

No one drank that last bottle of water you put in the refrigerator.

The store will take cash instead of credit (or vice-versa).

The empty sign on the fuel gauge means you have a gallon of gasoline left.

The price of gasoline will be that same as it was this morning.

You are allowed ten miles over the speed limit.

The cops won’t notice that you forgot to renew your license sticker.

You don’t need any notes to make that little speech.

The boss won’t mind that you spelled his name wrong.

No one will notice that you didn’t brush your teeth.

Your friend will laugh when you share his most embarrassing moment at the Christmas party.