Learning and Leading in Ministry: Chapter Nineteen

Eschew Arrogance

Learn objectivity.

“I think you ought to know something about me. I can dish it out, but I can’t take it!” This attempt at a joke by a friend of mine is actually way too true for a lot of people. Sharp tongues always seem to go with touchy feelings. The ability to take criticism, however, serves as a hallmark for learning. If the criticism hits the mark, be thankful because you have learned something. If it is off target, you can at least be glad for passing the test with flying colors. Why, then, do most people jump on the defensive when they hear criticism? Because they cannot personally disengage themselves from the process long enough to achieve objectivity. Subjectivity may affirm your feelings, but objectivity leads to substantive improvement.

Take it from me, a reluctant critic who has too often been coerced into the position. My life in ministry has thrown me into the unenviable roles of a critic, a judge, a mentor and confidant. I’ve had to reprimand church members for a wide range of misbehaviors, I’ve had to criticize spouses on the job they were doing as a husband or wife, I’ve had to score tests and grade essays as a teacher in our Christian Academy, I’ve had to critique sermons for prospective ministers and I’ve had to deal with licensed ministers who suffered a lapse in their professional conduct. As unpleasant as the job is, I can tell you that my goal has always been to repair, restore, edify and to add ultimate value to the subject of my disapproval. Furthermore, I save my most passionate criticisms for those whom I believe have the most to gain. I want them to do well because they have great potential for success. On the other hand, if I feel that an individual will pay scant attention to my words, I am likely to save my breath.

Many people know that Jesus had a close relationship with his disciple, Simon Peter, but Bible scholars know that Jesus reserved his most scathing reproof for this same disciple. It came on the heels of Peter’s confession that Jesus was indeed the Christ. Jesus then went on to break the news that he would be crucified, prompting a vehement protest from Peter. Jesus said to him, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Matthew 16:23. In a few short moments, Peter fell from a divine commendation to a stinging rebuke. Jesus took this liberty to chastise Peter so strongly because he knew what lie ahead and that Peter would be major player in the establishment of the primitive church. Indeed, on the Day of Pentecost, Peter became the spokesman for the disciples and led the church through its instantaneous growth, its first persecution, its initial organizational form and he broke down the racial barrier that kept the Gentiles from joining the church.

Contrast this with Jesus’ interaction with Judas. Aside from one veiled reference to Judas as a traitor (Matthew 6:71), Jesus issued no rebuke to him. Even on the night of the Passover supper, Jesus gave a morsel of bread to Judas and bade him to do his deed quickly. The other disciples had no idea what this all meant. Jesus, however, knew that Judas had already committed himself to betrayal. Constructive criticism would have been a lost cause.

Arrogant rejection of criticism means a lost learning experience. Welcome it. Don’t permit defensiveness, insecurity or subjectivity to classify criticism as an attack. It is far better to be humbled and corrected like Simon Peter than to evade your critics and continue down the pathway of failure.