Fathers' Day: Laughing Through the Tears

Luke 6:21 Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.

Ps 126:1 When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion , we were like them that dream. 2 Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The LORD hath done great things for them. 3 The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad. 4 Turn again our captivity, O LORD, as the streams in the south. 5 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. 6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

It’s never been tougher to be a Dad. The ideal Father’s Day puts Dad at the head of the table, slicing into a sirloin steak, opening cards and presents, trading hugs and kisses from happy kids. The real Father’s Day for a lot of dads is a little bit different. He checked the mail Saturday for a card that didn’t come. Maybe Monday, he thinks. He sees the little red light flashing on the voice mail and finds out it’s a sales call.

Those pictures on the dresser hurt so much that he lays on their faces so he doesn’t have to look at them. He feels a sob starting down in the pit of his stomach, but he chokes it off, grabs his keys and heads out the door to drive to no place in particular. He thinks about divorce proceedings, custody battles, attorney’s fees and pick-up points. Anger builds and subsides, questions swirl around his brain, guilt feelings torment him. He fights off memories of better times, brushes away the tears with the back of his hand and goes on. Later in the day, he seeks out friends. Small talk gets his mind off his problems. His friends help him to laugh. But he knows he’s laughing through the tears.

In the 126^th Psalm, the writer remembers the extreme sadness of an exiled Israel. Their captors ransacked their homes, ravaged their possessions and carted them off to Babylon. But it wasn’t enough to kidnap, torture and steal from them. They took perverse delight in abusing them emotionally and psychologically. They forced them to act happy. They demanded that they sing and play like they were back in their homeland.

Ps 137:1-4  By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion. 2 There on the poplars we hung our harps, 3 for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy; they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion !” 4 How can we sing the songs of the LORD while in a foreign land? NIV

They may have been laughing, but they were laughing through their tears. They may have been singing, but they were singing with a heavy heart.

Like the Toby Keith song:

I‘m So Happy I Can‘t Stop Crying

Seven weeks have passed now since she left me
She shows her face to ask me how I am
She says the kids are fine and that they miss me
Maybe I could come and baby-sit sometime

She says, “are you o.k I was worried about you
Can you forgive me I hope that you‘ll be happy”
I said, “I‘m so happy that I can‘t stop crying
I‘m so happy I‘m laughing through my tears” …

Saw my lawyer, Mr. good news he got me
Joint custody and legal separation
So I‘m so happy that I can‘t stop crying

I took a walk alone last night
I looked up at the stars
To try to find an answer in my life

The park is full of Sunday fathers and melted ice cream
We try to do the best within the given time
A kid should be with his mother everybody knows that
What can a father do but baby-sit sometimes

I saw that friend of mine, he said, “you look different somehow”
I said, “everybody‘s got to leave the darkness sometime”
I said, “I‘m so happy that I can‘t stop crying
I‘m laughing through my tears

Sometimes we wonder if the sorrow ever ends. Like the rising tide, sadness seems to follow us everywhere: marriage, kids, homes, jobs. Everything we do turns out wrong. I know there are some here this morning who think you are a target of hell and forgotten by God. Your family is tired of you and your friends are scared of you. You laugh on the outside, but on the inside you’re in shambles. And, just so you know, I realize that much of our sadness is self-inflicted. In fact, the people that feel the worst may be the ones who deserve it the most. But the sorrow is the same. When you laugh, you’re just laughing through your tears.

But today, I want you to look at your situation in a different light. It’s time to quit putting all the emphasis on the tears. It’s time to understand that there is another part to the equation. 

The Psalmist said, “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

Have you ever seen a little child burst out in tears because he didn’t get the ice cream cone he wanted? Then, all of a sudden someone puts that ice cream in front of his face and he starts laughing…the tears of a few seconds ago get squeezed out of his eyes and run down his cheeks as he giggles at his turn of events. The tears are real…but the joy is just as real. 

I’m not going to tell you to stop crying. If you could, you would have stopped a long time ago. I’m not telling you to just act happy or to start laughing. I am telling you today that there is a joy way beyond the sorrow. There is a joy that outshines, outlives and outlasts the tears in your eyes.

Ps 30:5 Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

To everyone who may be holding back tears, stifling groans, covering up sadness with a smile today…not just dads, but all of us. You may be dealing with divorce or separation

…tragedy or sickness
…pain or disease
…death of a loved one
…your home is in an uproar
…rejection, bitterness, anger, recrimination, fear

To all who are weeping today, it is time to understand that the turn-around is not what you think it is…It’s not just reconciliation, attention, acceptance, restitution. It’s not going back to the way things were… Your tears will not be wiped away by a change in fortune or circumstances. If you’re looking for that, you will only be disappointed over and over. The laughing through your tears does not have to be fake laughter.

God wants to turn it into genuine joy. He wants you to change your focus from your solution to his solution. He has a secret source of joy that does phenomenal things. It makes you walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil. It makes you look up from the den of lions and say, “O King, live forever!” It makes you sing praises at midnight in the middle of a prison. God is saying to you today, “Make me your chief joy and you can really laugh through your tears!

Psalms 16:7  I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. 8 I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. 9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. 10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. 11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

There are some of you who are arguing with me in your minds…I know.
Today, you say, Pastor, how can I do this? I’ve tried. I can’t get there from here.
I ask you: Why does joy come in the morning? Is there something magical about the time of day?
No. It’s the morning. It’s light.
When the light comes on, when the day dawns over the horizon, you can see everything.
At night, you see a little with flashlights and candlelight. But when you walk away, the darkness comes back and the night swallows up every victory and every revelation.

When God becomes your light, he lets you see everything in the right perspective.
You can laugh through your tears when Jesus is the source of your joy.
You can get there from here because Jesus shows you the way.

Heb 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Not only does Jesus show you the way, Jesus is the way. If you are thinking about your tears, start thinking about Jesus. If you are obsessing on your troubles and sadness, turn your eyes upon Jesus…

2 Peter 1:19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts.

(Have fathers come up and pray for them.)