What Shall Become of My Child?

1 Kings 14:1-3 (KJV)
¹ At that time Abijah the son of Jeroboam fell sick.
² And Jeroboam said to his wife, Arise, I pray thee, and disguise thyself, that thou be not known to be the wife of Jeroboam; and get thee to Shiloh: behold, there is Ahijah the prophet, which told me that I should be king over this people.
³ And take with thee ten loaves, and cracknels, and a cruse of honey, and go to him: he shall tell thee what shall become of the child.

To me, the most interesting thing in this story has little to do with the man Jeroboam, his wife, the prophet Ahijah or even Abijah, the child.   The played a small role in the history of Israel, but their fate, especially of the King Jeroboam, was simple the predictable outcome of selfish, carnal appetites.  These traits always lead to disappointment, disaster and death.  If you are curious, you are welcome to read it for yourself.

But the words of Jeroboam contain the most interesting feature of this passage of Scripture.  “He shall tell thee what shall become of the child.”  Even in the evil mind of this man, there was a recognition of the power of God, and he had a tremendous respect that he had for the prophet of God.  He was right.  The prophet did tell him what was going to happen to the child, but it wasn’t what Jeroboam wanted to hear.  Actually, the choices Jeroboam had already made in this life had already determined the fate of his family.  His question about the child was really the result of another question: can I live a life of evil and rebellion and still expect good things to happen?  The truth of the matter is this:  You are in the process of answering your own question about the future of your child.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could somehow peer into the future and find out what was going to happen to our children?  What are they going to look like when they get older?  Are they going to be happy?  Are they going to bring me joy or heartache?  Who will they marry?  Will they have children?  All of us are full of questions about the future, but I seriously doubt that any of us really want to know the answers.  It is the great unknown that drives us on.  If we knew what was going to happen, it would destroy our drive and incentive.  What would be the point of planning, hoping, dreaming, working…all the things that make life challenging and rewarding?

I have three main points to share with these parents here today.  If you are interested in the future of your child, or children, you need to accomplish these things as you raise them in your household.

Here they are:  Instill, nurture, awaken.  You have some things to instill in each child; you have some things you must nurture in each child; and you have some things you must awaken in each child.  These tasks belong to you.  You may have some help from others along the way, but you can’t really hand them off to anyone else—not grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, teacher, neighbor, friend, babysitter.  The parents are the single greatest influencers in a child’s life. 

Instill.

What do you have to instill in your child?  Answer:  whatever he or she was not born with.  This is the whole point of God’s creation of the family.  If the human child was able to take care of himself, there would be no need of nine months of gestation, twelve years of reaching the age of accountability, and nine more years to become adults.  Whether you realized it or not, when you decided to have children, you signed up for twenty-one years of work and responsibility!  Plus, you also agreed to spend between $200,000 and $250,000, the latest estimate to raise a child to the age of eighteen in the United States.  Of course, after eighteen, they don’t cost you anything, right?  And then, at age thirty, they start paying you back. 

I think I got off track here.  If you want certain things to become a part of your child’s life, it is up to you to put them there.

Instill a love for God in your child.  They don’t automatically have this.  If so, the scripture in Deuteronomy would not have been necessary:

⁴ Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
⁵ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NIV)

Instill the truth of the Word of God in your child.  They are going to hear many different versions of religion and beliefs.  I like what Wayne Huntley said, “When people hear salvation, they need to think Acts 2:38.  When they hear church, they need to think UPCI, or First Apostolic Church!

Instill prayer in your child.  Pray with them.  Never a morning went by that my wife didn’t kneel down with our children and pray with them before they went to school.  She learned it from her mother.  My mother was a praying woman.  She still is.  If you go to the Goerlich Center where she is an Alzheimer’s patient, she can still pray up a storm.  She may not know who you are, but she still knows who her God is!

Instill discipline in your child.  Discipline is not something you do to a child.  It is something you do for a child.  We sometimes call it punishment, but it is really correction.  Without correction, a child grows up thinking that behavior doesn’t matter. 

Some people ask me, “Do you believe in spanking children?”  Let me say this.  God created a place on a child’s body just right for administering discipline.  My dad used to say “apply the board of education to the seat of discipline.”  There is also a connection between the seat and the memory.  All it takes is a few episodes of corrective action and it burns itself into the memory of the child.  Next time, all you may have to do is remind them of what can happen.  Of course, a few refresher courses along the way may be necessary!

No, I am not talking about abuse, beating, leaving marks or bruises or otherwise injuring a child.  But, do you know what is more painful than spanking?  Juvenile homes.  Jail cells. Prisons.  Gun shots.  Bar room beatings.  Overdoses of drugs.  Loss of reputation.  By comparison, a spanking could be relatively harmless.

Instill integrity and respect in your child.  You don’t have to teach a child how to lie.  You don’t have to teach them how to pick up bad habits.  You don’t have to teach them how to cheat.  All of these traits and more will find their way into your child’s life.  You have to teach them integrity and respect.  Use every incident as a teaching moment.  Talk to them.  Don’t leave them alone to find out on their own. 

Let me remind you, you may have some work to do on your own character before you can do a credible job of instilling these things in your child.  Someone said a long time ago that you can’t come back from where you haven’t been.  Neither can you give something you don’t have.  And you can’t teach something you don’t already know.

Nurture

Nurture means to feed and protect, as it nurturing one’s offspring.   We do this by supporting,  encouraging and fostering the things that God has built into each child. 

A promising young musician needs to have his or her talent nurtured.  This is an innate ability that you can’t instill.  It’s just there.  A talented artist should have opportunity to pursue his or her passion for drawing and creating.  A love for reading, problem-solving, helping others, teaching or a hundred other various talents all need to be nurtured in order to grow.

The most important area in which your child needs to be supported and encouraged is in loving God.  One of our greatest needs in the church today is more men and women going into ministry.  Jesus said, “Pray ye therefore the Lord of the Harvest that He would send forth laborers into the field.” 

You nurture spirituality by buying a Bible for your child.

You nurture spirituality by bringing you child to Sunday School and church.

You nurture spirituality by making sure your child is involved in children’s activities in the church; in youth functions in the church; in ministries in the church.

Let me say this:  Never punish your child by taking a spiritual activity away from them.  The devil will make sure that that empty time slot and that lack of activity will be replaced with something else. 

Nurturing provides an atmosphere where growth, love, acceptance and approval take place.  Your home needs to be a place where tension and strife are foreign elements.  That can happen if everyone is on the same page.  There may be disagreements on who, what, when and where, but there needs to be complete agreement on why.  Short term objectives may be negotiable, but long term goals are shared. 

Our Lord Jesus Christ was God in human flesh, but he also was truly man.  As such, he grew up in the home of Mary and Joseph.  Here is what Luke wrote:

⁵¹ And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. ⁵² And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. Luke 2:51-52 (KJV)

I am convinced that Mary provided a nurturing atmosphere for the boy Jesus to grow into manhood and fulfill His mission in life.  There will never be another Messiah, but there can be many more disciples, workers, preachers, pastors, worshippers, missionaries and believers in the Kingdom of God. 

Awaken

Finally, there is something more.  There is something that may exist in one or more, or all of these babies this morning that none of us would even dream is there.  Could it be that God has a special call, a special mission, a unique role in the life of a child that only God Himself knows is there?

Mothers, there are times when you have to wake up your sleeping baby.  It may be time for a bath, it may be time to get ready to go to church, it may be time to go to grandma’s house.  You lean over your baby and whisper, “Come on.  Time to wake up.”  You kiss those little eyes, that little nose.  You wiggle those tiny toes and gently stir them up, hoping you will be greeted with a smile or a laugh. 

Awakening can mean to be roused out of sleep or a dormant state of body or mind.  But awakening can also mean to come to a realization of something bigger that anyone could imagine.  It could be a sudden understanding that God has an anointing on your life; that God has prepared an open door for you that was never before envisioned.

¹³ Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king’s house, more than all the Jews. ¹⁴ For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this? Esther 4:13-14 (KJV)

I don’t believe that I am the last of the line of pastors or preachers.  God has anointed vessels in store for His Kingdom.  They need to be awakened.

I wonder if a mighty prayer warrior needs to be awakened.

There could be an anointed evangelist here today that needs to be awakened.

There could be a prophet, an apostle, a missionary among this group that needs to be awakened today. 

Maybe it won’t be a worldwide personality; it could be someone whom God needs to carry a burden, to be ignited with a great passion for the church and for souls.

1 Samuel 1:6-18 (KJV)
⁶ And her adversary also provoked her sore, for to make her fret, because the LORD had shut up her womb.
⁷ And as he did so year by year, when she went up to the house of the LORD, so she provoked her; therefore she wept, and did not eat.
⁸ Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?
⁹ So Hannah rose up after they had eaten in Shiloh, and after they had drunk. Now Eli the priest sat upon a seat by a post of the temple of the LORD. ¹⁰ And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore.
¹¹ And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head. ¹² And it came to pass, as she continued praying before the LORD, that Eli marked her mouth.
¹³ Now Hannah, she spake in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard: therefore Eli thought she had been drunken.¹⁴ And Eli said unto her, How long wilt thou be drunken? put away thy wine from thee.
¹⁵ And Hannah answered and said, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD.
¹⁶ Count not thine handmaid for a daughter of Belial: for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief have I spoken hitherto.
¹⁷ Then Eli answered and said, Go in peace: and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition that thou hast asked of him.
¹⁸ And she said, Let thine handmaid find grace in thy sight. So the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad.

Hannah had a child and she gave that child to the Lord.

Samuel awakened Israel to God.

But, first, God awakened Hannah to prayer.  It was in prayer that she moved the world.  It was in prayer that she became fruitful.  It was in prayer that her life became far more significant than would have ever happened otherwise.  Someone needs to say, “Awake to righteousness, and sin not.”  1 Corinthians 15:34 (KJV)

The church needs a new generation to be awakened to the great mission of reaching the world, saving the lost and proclaiming the gospel.  Yes, it is nice to be doctors and nurses; lawyers and business people; teachers and community workers.  Yes it is nice to have lofty goals for material possessions and wealth and prosperity.  But parents, it is time to awaken your child to the loftier things of God. 

When we pray today, let us not only pray for these children, let us also pray for these parents.  Let us pray not only for wisdom and strength to raise their children, let us pray for a great awakening to the righteousness of God.