Commiseration

Okay, let’s run the full gamut of clichés.  You’ve got a burr under your saddle, a bee in your bonnet, a thorn in your side, an axe to grind, a bone to pick, a fly in your ointment, your hair’s on fire, you’re ready to bite someone’s head off … you get the picture.  You’re somewhere between mildly ticked off to flat-out furious.  You don’t like what is happening, but neither are you hankering for a full confrontation.  At the same time, you can’t get over it.  So, what do you do?  You look around for someone who feels just like you do! 

Commiseration feels so good!  When you risk voicing your complaints about the situation and find an understanding spirit, a listening ear, an affirming attitude, an agreeing mind, you wallow in vindication.  Ye-e-e-s-s-s-s!  I’m not crazy after all! “See, honey?  (to your spouse). She (or he) feels like I do! It’s not just me!”  People who seek commiseration never question their core attitude.  They seldom, if ever, sift through their applecart to see if a rotten apple is lodged somewhere in their heart.  It’s never them.  They dismiss or ignore anyone who disagrees with them.  (They’re brainwashed, they’re not sophisticated enough to understand, they have a vested interest in what’s going on, they’re clueless).  They keep looking until they spy a friendly face, someone sympathetic with their aggravated spirit. 

Then, when two people team up to share their beefs, it’s not hard to get a third person involved.  The third party thinks that if these two feel the same way, the issue must be legit.  At their prompting, he or she begins to see things that formerly went unnoticed.  Criticisms that never occurred before materialize out of nowhere, and soon, a negative spirit takes over.  As such, commiseration that starts out by venting, expressing a hurt or asking a not-so-innocent question grows into a faction, a movement or a mutiny.  The murmuring Israelites, the evil spies, the fickle crowds who left Jesus and a host of other Bible examples prove the point.  “Don’t be fooled by those who say such things. If you listen to them you will start acting like them.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (TLB). 

When you feel offended, you should check your own spirit first.  Why do you feel this way?  Are you just resisting change?  Is an insubordinate spirit being exposed?  Are you nursing a grudge?  Has your pride been wounded?  Remember the true test of submission comes when you are asked to do something you don’t want to do.  The last thing you should do is run to a sympathizer.  You need to be challenged, not mollified.  “Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!” But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” Matthew 16:22-23 (NKJV).  Jesus’ sharp rebuke of Peter could have been offensive, but Peter needed the correction.  Whenever you resist correction, whether actively or passively, you fall into the hands of the devil.   

Don’t seek commiseration.  Ask for truth.  Rebellion against authority never wins.  If something needs to be changed in the matter, enter into private prayer about it and let it go no further.  Seek out godly, prayerful counsel.  Keep your spirit pure and your will submissive.  You may find out that the entire scenario was different than you first surmised. 

Unbelief: The Lurker

The term “lurker” has now entered the spotlight via social media.  It refers to someone who logs onto a website or a social media platform like Facebook or Twitter but does not interact or post.  Lurkers like anonymity.  They typically don’t want anyone to know they’re online.  They don’t announce their presence.  If they do make a comment, it will most likely be under an assumed name.  They know who you are, but keep their own identity secret. 

In a recent sermon, the preacher focused on the phenomenon of unbelief.  The more he described unbelief, the more I saw it as a lurker, hiding in the shadows of the mind, slipping into camouflage, posing as something far more noble and respectable than its ugly self.  In its many disguises, unbelief can swagger around with fake credibility.  It can situate itself in the middle of bona fide spiritual traits like faithfulness, orthodox doctrine and spiritual giftedness.  It can enjoy accolades and even admiration from those who innocently succumb to its deception. 

One of unbelief’s go-to disguises looks like intellectual inquiry.  “I’m just trying to understand …”  I want to check out some other commentaries, lexicons and theological authors …” “I’m wondering if we have interpreted this accurately …”  While scholarly pursuits may be fine after one believes, a person never believes as a result of carnal, egotistical endeavors.  Faith comes first!  “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV).  If study created belief, seminaries would be hotbeds of revival.  They’re not. They’re cold dungeons of cynicism. “For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe.” 1 Corinthians 1:21 (NKJV) 

Another favorite—albeit unsuspected—cranny for unbelief to hide is caution.  “I’m very careful of what I believe.”  “I like to wait and see what happens.”  “I always talk to my friends and find out what they think before I make a decision.”  Those statements really emerge out of unbelief.  All you need to believe is the Word of God.  Jesus charged the Pharisees with unbelief when they refused to take Him at His word.   “But because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me.  Which of you convicts Me of sin? And if I tell the truth, why do you not believe Me? He who is of God hears God’s words; therefore you do not hear, because you are not of God.” John 8:45-47 (NKJV) 

Yet another excuse for unbelief is bandwagon enthusiasm.  “I’ve been fooled before, so I don’t jump at everything that comes along promising pie-in-the-sky rewards.” “Whenever everybody jumps at something, I get skeptical.”  “I never go along with the crowd.”  This premise is false on its face.  If someone yells “Fire!” in an arena, this same person would most likely head for the exit along with everyone else.  In the case of reticence to embrace God’s Word, unbelief drives the action, not healthy skepticism.  

Expose your unbelief.  Don’t let it hide behind its many masks.  Call it out.  Don’t encourage, enable or prolong its existence in your life.  It is not innocent.  It is an evil motivation that must be identified, not protected.  “Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.” Hebrews 3:12 (KJV).  As long as you call it something other than what it really is, you will fail to rid yourself of its influence.  

Let Abraham, mighty in faith, serve as your example.  Despite all the evidence to the contrary, he steadfastly  clung to his faith.  “Therefore it is of faith, that it might be by grace; to the end the promise might be sure to all the seed; not to that only which is of the law, but to that also which is of the faith of Abraham; who is the father of us all.” Romans 4:16 (KJV) 

“Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be. And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sara’s womb: He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.” Romans 4:18-21 (KJV)

Like Abraham’s era, these times call for strong faith.  Devote yourself to the Word of God.  Let it be enough.  Expel the lurker!

The Great Significance Swap

Staring intently at the iPad, my four-year-old grandson would swipe his finger across the screen every one or two seconds.  After several swipes, he would raise his head and announce in a matter-of-fact voice, “He died.”  Down his head would go again.  Process repeated, ad infinitum. 

I don’t want to make too much of this, but it did strike me as revealing.  Have we trivialized the solemn significance of death until it is on par with a video game booboo?  Yes, we have.  Virtual reality has become just as real as actual people, events and circumstances.  Even gamers and cyberspace experts are starting to warn the world about this danger. Cody Lewis, writing in www.resourcemagonline.com cautions us, “The emerging world of virtual reality is not only providing a new, fully immersive gaming experience, but creating new ways for people to see the world. Whether it’s a virtual reality airlines out of Japan or a way to bring excitement to exercise, people are finding innovative and exciting ways to use the technology.  The problem, however, is that we don’t know its long-term effects on either the body or the mind. We are in a wait-and-see situation. That’s frightening, but we are also in a similar situation with smartphones, so what can you do?”  

The virtual reality concern, in my view, is only symptomatic of a larger problem.  Our political climate has poisoned the minds of many into a state of inversion about life.  I call it a significance swap.  We now value things once thought to be trash and trash things once thought to be valuable; we celebrate the silly and denigrate greatness; we elevate the inconsequential and ridicule the truly significant; we laugh at real danger and fear safety.  It’s an insane progression that leads to eventual catastrophe—sooner rather than later.  Years ago, Tony Campolo asked the question, “Who switched the price tags?”  He said that we have made the expensive cheap and the cheap expensive.  As you might imagine, we could go deep into this phenomenon, but in this piece, I want to lay the case out in a brief way just to get the conversation started. 

Examine the following propositions.  Each of them deserves elaboration, but I believe that they hold a kernel of truth despite their skeletal format.  It would be fairly easy to find illustrations all around us that proves the point. 

·       Words over deeds. 

·       Feelings over facts.

·       Youth over age.

·       Visceral over thoughtful.

·       Specious over sensible.

·       Short term over long term.

·       Perception over reality.

·       Symbolism over substance.

·       Convenience over difficulty.

·       Quick over time-consuming.

·       Planning over executing.

·       Temporary over permanence.

·       Superficiality over depth.

·       Wishing over working.

·       Illusion over truth.

·       Spectacular over ordinary.

·       Fun over joy.

·       Skepticism over faith.

·       Patronism over loyalty.

·       Chaos over order.

·       Loud over soft.

·       Flesh over spirit.

·       Running over standing.

·       Getting over giving.

·       Like over love.

·       Me over you. 

I believe that the second word or phrase in each couplet holds much greater significance over the first.  Somehow, we have been conned into the opposite position and the systemic problems we now experience in our society demonstrate the folly of the move.  As you look over these contentions, how do you fare?  Are you falling for the ruse of conventional wisdom or can you cut through the noise and get a clear vision of reality?  A challenge like this is a mere intellectual exercise unless you have the courage to do something about it in your personal life.

Leave Me Alone

So, you’re your own person, right?  You should be able to do whatever you want to do?  Everybody else can go jump in a lake.  Nobody has the right to tell you what to do, where to go and how to live.  Isn’t this the message of Hollywood? Isn’t this what movies, books, magazines, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, feminists, radicals and progressives have been cramming down our collective throat for decades?  You know it’s true.  You just may not be aware of the consequences.  Think again.   

Two diametrically opposed philosophies present themselves to us.  Either you are your own person or else you are not your own.  Either you live for yourself alone, or you acquiesce to the opinions of others.  One is independence, the other is interdependence.  You cannot have it both ways.  Of course, it can get complicated.  Gray areas, blurred lines and unspoken laws cloud our vision.  But when you step back far enough to take in the whole picture, things begin to make sense.   

The thing is, if you follow total personal independence out to its logical conclusion, the impact can be devastating.  If you really are your own person with no obligations to anyone except yourself, then family falls apart, friends flee, community suffers, and society unravels. You can buck societal norms all you want, you can thumb your nose at family honor, community standards and cultural pride, but you simultaneously unleash a backlash that will undoubtably rock your world.  If you drive a nail into the bottom of the boat, everything sinks. 

Case in point.  “A Vietnamese fashion designer and model is facing punishment in her home country for wearing a skimpy dress in France, some 9,000 miles away.  According to a report, Ngoc Trinh, 29, wore the flimsy, see-through black gown at the Cannes Film Festival in May. ‘Her outfit was improper, offensive and has caused public outrage,’ Nguyen Ngoc Thien, Vietnam’s minister of culture, sports and tourism, said afterward, according to the Sun. The minister ordered an investigation into whether Trinh violated Vietnam’s public decency laws by wearing the dress—even though she did so far from home. If guilty, she could face a heavy fine, the Sun reported.”  www.foxnews.com, 6/9/19. (I won’t include a photo here for obvious reasons.)

It would seem that this Vietnamese model, half a world away, had the right to wear the clothes she wanted, to enjoy herself, and express her personal tastes.  But she also represented a country, a culture and a way of life that defined her as a person.  Her audacious choice of clothing turned into a disconnect from her roots.  And here is the problem.  Absolute independence requires a monumental sacrifice.  One must separate from everything that gives meaning to his or her life in order to freely indulge in any whim, desire, impulse or urge.   

Some say, “Well, I don’t care!  I don’t care what anybody else thinks.  I’m not going to live my life by someone else’s rules!” Those who really think this way will have to retreat into isolation to live a reclusive life.  We cannot live in society without paying homage to culture, customs, laws, styles and common values.  Why?  Is it not culture that provides the seasoning, the uniqueness, the fascinating flavors of life?  As a frequent traveler to many countries, I always look forward to experiencing the uniqueness in each venue of the world.  The architecture, the dress, the language, the food, the landscape, the scenery and the personalities of the people infuse my wanderings with intriguing interest.  When I look out of the window of the plane or walk out on the street in front of my hotel only to see McDonald’s, Starbucks or Wal-marts, I am totally turned off. I want to see the distinctiveness of Greece, or Chilé, or Hong Kong, Israel or Korea.  Those cultures can only be perpetuated by the loyalty and connectedness that each member hold sacred. 

The Bible teaches us that we are not our own.  When we enter into the body of Christ, we forfeit our own will and adopt the values and sacred traditions of God.  The Message Bible puts it this way: “Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So, let people see God in and through your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (MSG) Those who inject foreign customs and ideas into the church engage in subversion and fraud.  The worst kind of “cultural appropriation” involves those who claim Christianity but believe and behave in blatant anti-Biblical ways.  

You want to be left alone?  Play the maverick.  You’ll get love from yourself and from those who make financial or political gain from supporting you. 

Start Small, Grow Tall

“Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.” SS 2:15  

“Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.” James 3:4  

Let’s talk about real life, about where we live, walk, talk and think on a daily basis.  Most of us don’t live on a grand scale, we don’t deal with billions of dollars, we don’t crisscross the globe every week on jumbo jets. 

Scalability 

We consider ourselves common, ordinary, average people who are just living our lives in day-to-day routines, with average expectations, and ordinary outcomes.  The problem is that we have a mindset known as scalability.  It is an engineering term, and also a computer-designing terms that reflects the ability of a process to expand or decrease to meet demand levels.  

According to www.lifewire.com, “Scalable — or scalability — is a term most often encountered in the business/finance world, typically applied to a process, product, model, service, system, data size, or activity. It’s a question of growth that evaluates important criteria in order to determine feasibility and value for any given product or service.  When someone asks, “Can it scale?” they want to know how well the manufacturing or service process can be expanded or shrunk to meet different requirements, such as: Greater demand, Reduced demand, Sudden power outages or other types of output problems, Time to market, Return on investment.” 

Now, let’s apply this concept of scalability to you.  For example, if you have a growing family, say going from one to four kids, it changes the way you shop for groceries, the time you spend cooking, the way you apportion your dishes, not to mention the money you spend, especially as they get older.  The recipes don’t change, but the size and amount of the ingredients change.  (We’re not even getting into the housing space you need, the gas and electric you use, the clothes you buy, the amount of washing you do, the number of Christmas presents you need, and on and on.) 

And then, there’s the empty-nest syndrome.  When the kids get older and move out, you start scaling back.  It messes up some people.  They know how to cook for an army; they don’t know how to cook for two people.  And when some families are reduced to one person, many of you don’t like to cook at all!  It seems that when the scale gets too small, life loses its luster, food doesn’t taste as good, nice clothes don’t seem as important, taking care of things don’t drive your activity and desire as they once did.  

As a matter of fact, when many people reach this stage, they rapidly start to decline in their health, their hygiene, their social activities and their interest in life in general.  They don’t take care of themselves as they should because they lose incentive.  When something is big, it seems important.  When something is too small, it doesn’t matter.  

Divine Metrics 

God has never operated on a scalability basis.  He has never put truth on some sort of metric.  His scale is absolute.  He doesn’t place truth into context, that if things were important enough, or the stakes were high enough, or the outcome was powerful enough, or if the people were high-profile enough, then He would place more emphasis on being truthful.  No.  In God’s economy, truth is truth, false is false, sin is sin, right is right, love is love, hate is hate, good is good, evil is evil, no matter the scale in which it exists. 

Consider Abraham’s prayer for Sodom and Gomorrah:  “And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked? Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein? That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” Genesis 18:23-25  

Abraham’s prayer went from fifty down to ten, and each time God agreed to grant his request.  Notice in this passage, that God did not place a number on his willingness to grant deliverance or mercy.  He did not gauge his punishment or his salvation on the enormity of Sodom’s sin, the foolishness of Lot or the virtue signaling to the world.  He measured his promise on the basis of Abraham’s prayer.  

Plastic People 

People are plastic, that means that human beings often change to fit their environment or context.  We are prone to judge something as good or bad, as acceptable or non-acceptable depending on how important it is in the general scheme of things.  Let me put this in terms of a few questions: 

• Is it okay to be rude if a person is not very important to you?
• Is it okay to curse if the situation or person really deserves it?
• Is it okay to cheat on your taxes if the amount is too small to notice?
• Is it okay to lie if telling the truth would get you into trouble?
• Is it okay to steal from your workplace it your boss owes you anyway?
• Is it okay to be immoral if your husband or wife is a fool?
• Is it okay to disobey God’s Word once-in-a-while if you are usually obedient? 

Now, I can hear somebody say, “Hey, nobody is perfect! We all make mistakes.”  True enough, but here’s the catch.  When you make a mistake, do you call it a mistake, or do you justify it?  Nobody is perfect, but should we make imperfection our standard of behavior? If we can sin with impunity, then why do these scriptures exist? 

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” 1 John 1:7-10   

Scalability allows us to expand or shrink our sin, our mistakes, our problems to a harmless, or even innocent state.  We can be dismissive of something that we consider small or insignificant but can actually have huge consequences.  We live in the era of the “MeToo” movement in which flirtatious behavior like winking, commenting, kissing or touching can cost a person’s job or land him or her in jail.  What you may think is stupidly small may be inexcusably big in the eyes of someone else. 

On January 28, 1986, the space shuttle Challenger broke apart seventy-three seconds into flight, killing its seven crew members. The entire vehicle disintegrated after an O-ring seal in its right solid rocket booster (SRB) failed at liftoff. The failure caused a breach joint, allowing pressurized hot gas to reach an external fuel tank. The structural failure of the external tank broke up the orbiter.  The O-ring breakup caused the disaster.  The Challenger catastrophe tragically illustrates the importance of one thing.  

While preaching some time ago in Greenville, Ohio, I used this illustration.  A woman came up to me afterwards and said, “Brother Jordan, I may have been the one to made that O-ring!  I worked in the plant that manufactured O-rings for the space program.”  She felt terrible for a long time about that piece, but she found out later that it wasn’t her fault. The engineers at NASA should have scuttled the launch because the temperature was too low for the integrity and safety of the O-rings.  

In case you don’t think something small can hurt, consider these:  one bad apple in a barrel; a nail-puncture in a tire; a negative 1 in an equation; a single cancer cell; a trace of arsenic; a single insensitive tweet; one vote in an election; one point or run in a sports game; one disparaging look at a child.

The Mustard Seed 

We have been basically talking about the bad things that can happen as a result to underestimating the sin and mistakes that we make in life.  But the concept of scalability also hold true for the positive behaviors and outcomes.  Look no further than the parable of Jesus about the mustard seed.  “And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” Matthew 17:20   

Just as we underestimate our sins, we overestimate the steps it takes to make things right.  We think that doing the right thing, doing what pleases God, making a difference represents such an astronomical output of effort that we are too intimidated to even begin.  How can I ever be as holy as the pastor?  How can I ever measure up to the great men or women in my life whom I admire?  How can I ever stand up to the bad habits, the wrong decisions or the evil influences that surround me every day?  

This kind of negative thinking is a non-starter.  The old saying, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” conjures of an image of the length of the journey before it focuses on the single step.  Think of it this way:

A life of Bible reading begins with a single scripture.

• A prayer life takes only a simple prayer to get going.
• A friendship begins with a smile or a word.
• A better marriage begins with “I’m sorry.  Will you forgive me?”
• A right relationship with God begins with confession.
• Helping a friend begins with an encouraging word. 

Some of you who are new here don’t know that I can play a guitar.  In June of 2006, my wife and I decided to go to Wauseon to start a preaching point or daughter work.  We went to an elementary school with about 6 or 8 FAC people who lived west of Toledo and had a little service.  I provided the music, so you know it couldn’t have been much.  Somehow, it caught on and began to grow.  A year or so later, a situation in the church in Bryan resulted in some people who wanted to start a church.  The pastor asked me to take it under my wing as a daughter work.  Eventually, the two daughter works merged which resulted in autonomous church in Archbold today pastored by Bro. Jason Clutter.  We didn’t go from an elementary school library to a congregation in Archbold overnight.  It started small by doing something so small that it may have looked like nothing.  It is surprising how God take our nothings and turns them into somethings!  

Much has been said lately about a multiplication revival.  We’re talking churches in various places around the Toledo metro area.  This takes soulwinning to a level that may seem way beyond your personal capability.  Big plans, big ideas, You may have already crossed it off as an unattainable goal.  You may be making this much harder than it really is.  It may be time for you to Here is all it takes to get started: 

• “I’m thinking about you.”
• “I really appreciate you.”
• “How can I help you?”
• “Here is a bag of groceries.”
• “I baked these cookies for you today. Enjoy.”
• “I prayed for you today.”
• “Mind if I shared a scripture with you?”
• “I’d like for you to come to church with me Sunday.”
• “How about coming over for a barbeque this week?” 

Guess what?  You don’t have to be an expert in the Bible to do any of these simple things.  You really don’t have to have expertise in anything.  So, why are we so reluctant to do any of them?  It’s because we don’t consider it to be worth our time or theirs.  We downplay, dismiss and underestimate small things as too insignificant to have much value.  

There is a fascinating verse found in the account of Elijah and the fire called down from heaven.  “And Elijah said unto Ahab, Get thee up, eat and drink; for there is a sound of abundance of rain. So, Ahab went up to eat and to drink. And Elijah went up to the top of Carmel; and he cast himself down upon the earth, and put his face between his knees, And said to his servant, Go up now, look toward the sea. And he went up, and looked, and said, There is nothing. And he said, Go again seven times. And it came to pass at the seventh time, that he said, Behold, there ariseth a little cloud out of the sea, like a man’s hand. And he said, Go up, say unto Ahab, Prepare thy chariot, and get thee down, that the rain stop thee not. And it came to pass in the meanwhile, that the heaven was black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. And Ahab rode, and went to Jezreel. And the hand of the LORD was on Elijah; and he girded up his loins and ran before Ahab to the entrance of Jezreel.” 1 Kings 18:41-46     

First, notice that Elijah heard the sound of the abundance of rain before the clouds ever formed in the sky.  Then, when the servant went out, he saw a tiny cloud that he described as a “man’s hand.”  Don’t discount this description.  There is meaning here.  It was not God’s hand.  It was a man’s hand.  Miracles begin with the injection of humanity into the equation.  E. M. Bounds said it this way, “Without God, man cannot.  Without man, God will not!”  You cannot sit around in a faithless, feckless, stymied, despondent, disparaged, lazy state and throw everything back into God’s lap.  You cannot bow out of the action and say, “God, if you want this done, you will have to do it by yourself!”  No.  Without faith, it is impossible to please God.  If you’re not willing to start small, you probably won’t start at all!  “Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase.” Job 8:7  

“There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?” John 6:9  

You can start right now.  Turn to someone and say, “I believe in you!”  There is no telling what all God can and will do with the slightest effort on your part. 

“For who hath despised the day of small things? for they shall rejoice and shall see the plummet in the hand of Zerubbabel with those seven; they are the eyes of the LORD, which run to and fro through the whole earth.” Zechariah 4:10  

If u’re too big to start small,

u’re too small to start big,

said my pastor.
Start small, then grow tall:
advice of most mentors.
So when u’re up,
you can thank God;
appreciating those down-line.
Start small, then shine.

Ehimika Ehimigbai

START CLOSE IN

Start close in,

don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step you don’t want to take.

Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.

Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people’s questions,
don’t let them
smother something
simple.

To find
another’s voice
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
listening
to another.

Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don’t follow
someone else’s
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don’t mistake
that other
for your own.

Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step you don’t want to take.

~ David Whyte ~ 

A small lad, a small lunch, a small remnant, a small prayer, a small sacrifice, a small word, a small song, a small look, a small gesture, a small gift, a small acknowledgement, a small trip, a small invite, a small step, a small nod, a small smile—it’s not what you accomplish, it’s what you start. 

Don’t be overwhelmed by the big picture; start out with the stick figures.  See what God will do when you start small. 

Etiquette for Today’s Rat Race and Racers

In parking lots, always come to a COMPLETE stop for foot traffic.  Don’t bully people into hurrying along by moving your vehicle forward.

Check what your auto-correct feature has done to your text message before you press send. 

If you have the slightest doubt about a Twitter, Facebook or other social media post, DON’T!  You don’t have to be embarrassed about something stupid you didn’t say.

Drive in the right lane; pass on the left—even on a four-lane highway.  They didn’t build the left lane for drivers to maintain regular speed.

When stopping to drop off a passenger, pull over to the curb.  I know it’s a bother, but it allows traffic to keep flowing.

Your car is equipped with turn signals.  Use them when turning right or left, changing lanes or when passing.

Keep a consistent speed on the highway.  Cruise-control is a marvelous feature.  Use it.

Turn your music down if you have your windows down or your convertible top open—unless you just like being obnoxious. 

Dress appropriately.  If clothes don’t make a difference, then workers, athletes and law enforcement officers should stop wearing uniforms. 

Tailgating is dangerous and provocative.  When you do it, you put your 3,000 lb. machine into potential crash mode, and you will have little or no control over it.

If you keep tailgating, “failure to stop within the assured, clear distance ahead” will be a familiar legal phrase (and expensive).

Respect the weather.  Wet pavement causes aquaplaning, which significantly degrades starting, stopping and controlling your vehicle.

Turning left?  Don’t veer into the turn lane too early.  Drivers in front of you may enter the lane legally, and you may hit them.  Oh, and it will be your fault.

When the sign says “lane closed ahead” move over asap.  Line-cutting is bad, whether you are standing or driving.

If you don’t like traffic congestion, move to the Nunavut Territory with the Innuits. Only .05 persons per square mile live there as opposed to 282 persons per square mile in Ohio. That about 5,650% difference.  (Also, no shopping malls, Starbucks or P. F. Changs.

If you like to sing loudly in church, don’t sit one row behind another worshipper.

Park within the painted lines in the parking lot.  If you park across lines because you don’t want your car door dinged, park as far away as possible. 

Escalation

Kids love escalators.  They treat them like amusement park rides.  I’ve seen them run up the down escalator and down the up escalator, laughing and daring one another to do something even wilder.  They perch on the handrails for an extra thrill.  They annoy adults and tempt fate by their dangerous antics.  It’s great fun. 

Escalation, however, pre-dated moving stairways.  In human interaction, a variance in opinion, a disagreement, an expression of perturbation has triggered a response unwarranted by the predicate.  Many insignificant incidents have grown into major conflicts—even world wars—when the parties involved fanned the flames of a minor difference. 

The War of the Stray Dog

“In one of the most bizarre conflicts of the 20th century, a dog inadvertently triggered an international crisis. The incident was the culmination of a long period of hostility between Greece and Bulgaria, which had been at odds since the Second Balkan War in the 1910s. Tensions finally boiled over in October 1925, when a Greek soldier was shot after allegedly crossing the border into Bulgaria while chasing after his runaway dog. 

The shooting became a rallying cry for the Greeks, who soon after invaded Bulgaria and occupied several villages. They were even set to commence shelling the city of Petrich when the League of Nations finally intervened and condemned the attack. An international committee later negotiated a ceasefire between the two nations, but not before the misunderstanding had resulted in the deaths of some 50 people.”  (www.history.com)

We could indulge ourselves in complex and scholarly analysis of conflict resolution, but let’s keep it as simple as possible.  We can break it down into six steps or stages of escalation:

• Disagreement
• Context for Aggression
• Skirmish
• Bi-Lateral Response
• Calculated Escalation
• Ultimatum

Disagreement.  An issue surfaces that both parties see differently.  It could be a piece of disputed property, a perceived insult or a misunderstanding.  Whatever it is, it could be easily resolved before it gets any worse.  No punches have been thrown, no threats have been launched, no shots have been fired.  Now is the time to preserve the peace.

In marital conflicts, the issue could be something as simple as rolling one’s eyeballs, pursing one’s lips, breathing a sigh of irritation, a forgotten appointment or procrastinating a chore.  Many times, married couples cannot remember what caused the fight in the first place.  But, because they had no plan in place to immediately address the problem, it either precipitated a bigger fight or it was filed away as ammunition for a future battle.

Context for Aggression.  “An SDS radical once wrote, ‘the issue is never the issue. The issue is always the revolution.’  In other words, the cause-whether inner city blacks or women—is never the real cause, but only an occasion to advance the real cause, which is the accumulation of power to make the revolution.”  -David Horowitz.  When two parties meet to resolve an issue, both bring baggage to the table.  They don’t see the problem as a simple, singular misdeed or mistake.  They see it as an indication of something much larger, like prejudice, superiority, desire to dominate, deception, greed, hatred, class warfare, generational grievances or entrenched philosophical views.  Context is everything.  Opposing parties see reconciliation as sweeping the bigger problems under the rug; to forgive and forget is to dishonor their families, their pride and their worldview.  Resolution risks incurring the wrath of their people or undermining their culture.  Thus, they are stuck in an intractable position.

Conflicts in marriage, tensions in the workplace, bickering among family members or fights with neighbors almost always happen under the influence of a dozen or more back stories.  “I’m sick and tired of you always doing this …”  “I haven’t trusted you for a long time.”  “You never take care of your (property, house, kids, etc.).”  Suddenly, the small issue takes on huge proportions, and it seems as though no solution exists that can truly resolve the problem.  Divorce, terminations and lawsuits often happen because the factions refuse to isolate and resolve a small problem on its own terms.   

Skirmish.  Without reconciliation, the pressure mounts to escalate the conflict.  A minor act of aggression takes place.  Somebody gets punched, a missile is fired, a boundary is breached, or a war of words breaks out.  It causes little or no damage at first.  Each side hopes that the other side will back down as a result.  Most of the time, one party engages in a skirmish to test the defense or measure the propensity for a response from the opponent.  Some have called it “rattling the saber.”  This is a “flamboyant display of military power as an implied threat that it might be used (idiomatic, figuratively).  Any threat, such as one company threatening another with a lawsuit.”  -Wiktionary.   It sends the message that “we are serious about standing up against your aggression.”  The problem need not escalate beyond this point.  Diplomatic avenues remain open for cooler temperatures to prevail and to negotiate an end to the skirmish.

Bi-Lateral Response.  This is “one-upmanship.”  Whatever one party does, the other party does something a little worse.  “If you hit me with a fist, I’ll hit you with a ball bat.  If you kill my dog, I’ll kill your horse.  If you burn down my barn, I’ll burn down your house.  If you shoot a rocket at us, we’ll send ten your way.”  At this point, a heated warfare calls for exchanges of artillery fire or other weapons of destruction.  Still, the response of each side is somewhat visceral, unorganized, and probative.  Opponents assess the damages incurred or inflicted and determine whether it is worth the price that escalating the conflict will cost. Yet, even though both parties have sustained damage, or, in military terms, “suffered degraded assets,” the wounds are superficial, not mortal.  Each can still recover if they cease hostilities and sue for peace.

In marriages, bi-lateral responses take the form of moving out, retaliatory actions like closing bank accounts, appealing to the sympathy of relatives and friends, destruction of property or even violence.  Partnerships are more tenuous than marriages, making responses devastating.  Former associates tear up agreements, engage another partner or file lawsuits.  If the need for togetherness is strong enough, however, (like the need for both brains and money, or both “know-how” and connections), then parties can reunite, both having learned a stiff lesson.

Marriages can get rocky without being “on the rocks.”  Aggrieved parties in partnerships, alliances, and good faith bonds can survive conflicts and get back to unity and productivity.  Peace as a choice remains an option, but only at the expense of vulnerability and forgiveness.

Calculated Escalation.  At this stage, both parties no longer see the possibility of reconciliation.  They commit themselves to war.  Peace, still an outside chance, would be considered a disappointing interruption to victory in battle.  Each side throws all their strength against the opponent.  Battle lines are drawn, forces are mobilized, strategies are implemented, and collective attitudes are set in stone.  The declaration of war signals a goal beyond a simple victory.  It galvanizes deep feelings of honor, pride, patriotism and self-respect.  A nation, a state, a family or an individual cannot easily retreat from a deliberate course of war without losing face.  

Husbands and wives who embark on a strategy of calculated escalation have two main goals: protect themselves from too much loss and inflict as much hurt on the other party as possible.  “You’ll regret you ever did this to me.”  “I’ll see to it that you never recover from this.”  Hatred crystallizes in their minds, ensuring that any thoughts of reconciliation are dead on arrival.  Friendships, partnerships, alliances that break apart and open hostilities often seek to ruin the reputation of the other party and destroy them financially. 

Ultimatum.  Although it may seem irrational, escalation can actually reach a stage that one would never envision.  It is possible to become so obsessed with winning and destroying the enemy, that if it means self-destruction to make that happen, then so be it.  “If I’m going down, you’re going down with me.”  “I don’t care what happens to me.  I just know that I will destroy you!”  This, in fact, described the mindset of Adolf Hitler when everyone knew that Germany was about to lose the war. 

“LAURENCE REES: How important also, in addition to all the factors you’ve just mentioned, was the memory of the way the First World War had ended in all this?

“SIR IAN KERSHAW: Well that was, of course, a critical component in Hitler’s own thinking, and of those who thought like him, which was that the First World War had ended in, from his point of view, this humiliation of the surrender. And Hitler had said repeatedly over and over again - this sort of 1918 syndrome was central to his mentality - there’d be no repeat of November 1918, and, as he said to his Luftwaffe adjutant in December 1944: ‘we can go down but we’ll take a world with us.’ Defeat with honour, as he saw it, fighting to the last bullet was imminently preferable to capitulation which was then the most humiliating form of ending this war and would bring about a new national humiliation as well.

So that was the thinking that was really behind a lot of Hitler’s actions, the mentality which kept him going right to the end. Most people didn’t think like that, but nonetheless because of their ties to Hitler—the fact that they couldn’t break with him, that only he could actually decide when the war was over from a German point of view—there was nothing really they could do to accelerate that end and bring about a negotiated settlement. And when they tried, as Himmler did at the end of April 1945, he was immediately ousted from all his offices by Hitler and would have been killed if they could have set hands on him.”   www.ww2history.com

When the final card is played in the game of escalation, nobody wins.  One often sees the vast wasteland of divorce, separation, lawsuits, permanent estrangement and the other forms of the endgame of escalation and it’s not pretty.  Financial stress, poverty, dysfunctional families, wounded children, bitterness and individuals locked in strained relationships for the rest of their lives tell the real story of the failure to negotiate for peace. 

If you are involved in a conflict, you do not have to follow the dangerous pathway of escalation.  Stop.  Consider the potential damages.  Seek out a way to resolve the conflict.  If necessary, sacrifice your pride, your finances and your well-being to preserve the peace.  You say “that’s impossible!”  I say that’s the exception, not the rule.  There is almost always a way if you are willing to pay for it.

Matthew 5:9  Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Luke 12:58 (NKJV) When you go with your adversary to the magistrate, make every effort along the way to settle with him, lest he drag you to the judge, the judge deliver you to the officer, and the officer throw you into prison.

2 Corinthians 5:18-21 (NKJV) Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.  Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.  For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

The Bench and the Bull Pen

Baseball introduced some terms into the language that have broader applications to life in general, and in particular, to the ministerial organization.  These two terms, bench and bull pen are well known to baseball fans.  The MLB roster refers to twenty-five active players, and fifteen more players that are either on the 10-day injured reserve list or players who can be called up from the minor leagues at any time. Teams have nine starters for any game, but sixteen players sit on the bench, ready to go into the game if the manager gives them the nod.  The list also includes reserve pitchers who are out in the bull pen, ready to warm up and come into the game to replace the starting pitcher.  Every player on the 25-man roster is required to attend the game, even if he never gets any playing action.  Of course, the pros get paid to do this, but this rule also holds true for every level of play, little league, high school, college, or sandlot teams.  Either show up or you’re off the team.

Playing the Bench:  The Hardest Position on Any Team

 (Dr. Alan Goldberg, www.competitiveadvantage.com)

“You make all of the practices regardless of how crappy you’re feeling. They, on the other hand, don’t show up if they have a hangnail! Most days you’re the first one at training and the last one to leave. They often come late and leave early. You never dog it or cut corners. Ask any of the coaches and they’ll tell you that they can always count on you giving everything 100%. They frequently slow down when the coach isn’t looking and look for ways to avoid the hard work. You maintain a positive attitude regardless of how brutal a practice is and they whine and moan that the practice is too hard. You consistently outwork many of your other teammates while they seem to just go through the motions.  

So, answer a few questions for me. Why is it that the coaches consistently start these guys in front of me? How unfair is that? Why is it that when they make mistakes in games, the coaches leave them in and the instant that I even mess up a little, I get yanked?!!!!

Are the coaches that blind that they don’t see my work ethic in relation to these other guys? Doesn’t my commitment and attitude mean anything to them? Sure these guys may be a just a little bit better than me, (sometimes not even!), but all things considered, don’t I deserve more of a shot than I’m being given?

Whether rightly deserved or not, “playing” the bench is the hardest role on a team to manage. As a result, very few athletes handle it well. A “role player” has to work just as hard as everyone else, has to sacrifice just as much, yet he/she never seems to get any of the playing time “goodies.”  It’s a discouraging and de-motivating position to be in and therefore, quite easy to fall into the negativity trap. i.e. “This stinks and what’s the point in trying?” This is just like a class where you have to bust your you know what in a tough subject and no matter how hard you work you only pull C’s, while the bright kid who never does a lick of homework or any of the readings, pulls A’s!  

So, what to do? You may not like your role on the team. You may not think it’s fair. It may NOT be fair! However, your job is to try to conduct yourself as a champion. Continue to work your keister off! Continue to do everything in your power to get as good as possible! Continue to maintain a positive, “team first” attitude! Try to play your “support” role to the very best of your ability. You may not get a chance this season to make a difference. You may even have to wait until you play for another coach. However, don’t let the coach’s not playing you, get to you. Just because the coach seemingly doesn’t believe in you enough to give you more PT, doesn’t mean that you should buy into his/her assessment of you. Keep on keeping on. Keep on working hard. Keep focused on your dream.

MOST IMPORTANT, stay focused on WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL. As an athlete, you do NOT have direct control over your playing time. You can work hard, have a good attitude, etc. and that will increase the chances that you’ll improve and get more PT. However, it doesn’t guarantee it! You also don’t have any control over the behaviors of the kids starting in front of you. They may be sloths, goof-offs or “team dividers.” You can’t control what they do or who they are. Instead, keep your focus on YOU and what YOU can control in the situation that you find yourself in. Stay positive! Be a good team player and play your role like a champion!”

So, how does this relate to a ministerial organization?  There is a widespread feeling that if you are not in charge or if you don’t have any official duties, then you don’t have to go to the game and sit on the bench.  There is also a common attitude that your presence is not necessary to the life of the organization.  “They can carry on without me!”  Moreover, slightly antagonistic feelings can emerge, like “Minister’s meetings are interruptions to my work; all that happens is people sit around and talk about idiotic things that have nothing to do with nothing; they basically want me there to get offerings or get me to work at the campground; I can’t see spending money on gas, motel rooms and meals when I know it’s worthless to me personally.”

There are several truths about sitting on the ministers’ bench that need to be understood:

• If you are on the team, you need to show up to the game.
• If you’re not at the game, you won’t know what’s happening.
• The less you know what’s happening, the less you care about the team.
• When you continue to be a no-show, you isolate yourself from the other ministers.
• You foster cohesiveness to the team when others see you as a good example.
• Just your presence is seen by others as a positive and affirming input to the team.
• When you show up, you can have a positive influence on other ministers. “Iron sharpens iron.”
• You never know when your input may become necessary to the welfare of the team. 

“But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. And if they were all one member, where were the body? But now are they many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-26 (KJV)