Critical Exchange

Learn transition.

Track and field people know that the relay race features one major difference from individual contests: a cylindrical stick called a baton.  Each runner hands off the baton to the next runner, who runs a lap and then snaps it into the hand of the next runner. The exchange takes place within a certain zone clearly marked out on the track. As he closes in on the zone, the first runner barks out a signal and the teammate puts out his hand to receive the baton. For a brief period of time, both runners run together until the baton safely moves from one to the next.

This exchange sounds easy on paper, but carrying it out is loaded with danger. If one hand holds on too long, if one hand releases before the other hand grasps, if either hand drops the baton or if passing of the baton takes too long, the team loses the race. More than any other aspect of the relay race, passing the baton from one runner to another defines success. A great track, good conditions, superb physical health, superior speed and athletic skill mean nothing if the runners muff the exchange.  In fact, the value of the relay race is that it emphasizes the team concept, that individual achievement must be subordinated to two or more people working together. 

The striking correlation of the baton exchange between runners in a relay race and the transition between leaders should be obvious. Some call this transfer of authority the passing of the mantle or the torch, but neither of those symbols capture the critical nature and timing of the relay race. An optimal window of time exists for a change of leaders to occur and the principle parties involved miss it at their own peril or that of the organization. Great care must be taken to guarantee a successful transition.  And, it cannot be done unilaterally.  Both participants must work together to see the operation through to success.

If you are turning everything over to your successor, think of the leadership role as a baton. The following thoughts and actions can ensure the success of the exchange: I will let you get going before I arrive. (I will give you some time to get used to your new role). I will definitely give you full control of the baton. (I will let you truly be the leader). I will let go before we leave the exchange zone. (I will back off and not interfere with your leadership). I will encourage you as you take the baton. (I will give you pointers and provide help whenever you ask for it). I understand that all of us represent equal segments of the race; I am not less than you, but neither am I greater than you. (I am not going to compare my leadership to yours). I want to do well, but my greatest concern is that we all win the race together. (If the church, organization or group suffers because I don’t handle the exchange well, we all lose).

By the same token, there are thoughts and actions that kill the exchange: It’s my baton; I can’t hand it off. (I am entitled to this position). You can’t carry it as well as I did. (I am better at leadership than you are). The people won’t accept you like they did me. (They’ll never love you like they did me). I’ll hang onto it a little longer until I’m sure you can do it. (You’re going to ruin this organization). I’m finished with my part; come and get the baton. (If you think you’re so good, let’s see how you can do without my help).

John the Baptist owned the right attitude about transition. “I must decrease but he must increase.” His view may have been difficult for him to accept, but it did not diminish his role. He acquiesced to divine progression. Leaving leadership may be more difficult than receiving leadership, but both are absolutely critical to the life of the organization. The attitude toward it makes the difference.

Believe in People (They’re all you have)

Learn to trust.

Good leaders understand the vast difference between believing in people and using people. The public may admire notable leaders for their work, but the underlings who help them harbor bitter feelings. Like Stalin’s minions, they know they are mere pawns in the project. Great leaders, however, engender love from their followers, not because their accomplishments are great, but because they trust their supporting cast and create within them a sense of purpose. Leaders who value strong, durable relationships and want to reach their stated goals with greater ease and more excellence always place their people above their projects

In researching human motivation, three kinds of self-fulfilling prophecy have been identified. The Pygmalion effect refers to the expectation of a teacher of a student. If the teacher expects the student to perform well, the odds are that it will happen. The Galatea effect describes students who believe in themselves and do well as a result. The Golem effect (based an unpleasant character in a Polish fable) occurs when students have no confidence in their ability to succeed and, as a result, they generally fail. These findings show that the power of believing, both in a positive or a negative way, has a demonstrable effect on motivating people.

Because of his divine nature, Jesus did not have to depend upon the humanity around him to reach his goals, yet he insisted that his disciples exercise great faith and believe for positive results. He believed in them. His attitude toward Simon Peter was especially rich in this regard. When Peter doubted that he could catch fish, Jesus told him to launch out into the deep water and let down his nets for a huge catch. When Jesus queried his disciples about his identity, Peter responded that Jesus was the Christ, prompting Jesus to call him blessed for receiving the revelation. When Peter wanted to walk on water, Jesus said, “Come.” These were not random, inconsequential incidents. They were divinely appointed moments strategically placed in scripture to enable us to see how Jesus instilled trust in his disciples. Leaders build trust one incident at a time.

Working with people will never be an exact science. Jesus, for example, had his crisis moments with Peter in which he stridently corrected this spirited, sometimes volatile disciple. Peter argued with Jesus about the approaching crucifixion, he drew his sword and cut off the ear of an opponent of Jesus, and he deserted Jesus at the very apex of the week of passion. Despite these considerable shortfalls, Jesus never reneged on his trust of Peter.

As a leader, you should operate with the philosophy that everybody has a right to make his or her own mistakes. Establish a sliding scale of tolerance for critical mistakes and then allow room for a margin of error. In doing so, you create a climate in which trust can grow. In fact, trust can only be validated as the leader and his followers weather storms together.  Trust will always be challenged.  When a person bends without breaking, he or she proves trustworthiness.

Do Not Enjoy Your Accomplishments Too Much

Learn modesty.

No name was given, and it’s just as well. The video clip, now spread throughout the internet, shows the world’s most unfortunate cyclist approaching the finish line in first place. Sensing his victory, his hands shot prematurely into the air in celebration of his win. The sudden movement threw him off balance, causing him to lose control of his bike and wipe out. You can hear the horrified crowd draw in their collective breath in unison. The poor guy scrambled to his feet and tried, without success, to jump back on the bicycle. The most embarrassing thing, though, was that the second place cyclist overtook the early celebrant, cruised into first place and won the race. It hardly seems necessary to point out the moral of the story, but, just for the record, don’t celebrate too early. You never know what can happen.

Responding to the media on the hurricanes Katrina and Rita, General Russell Honore said that some people are “stuck on stupid.” In the spirit of that remark, don’t get stuck on yourself. Win and get over it. As proud as you may be of your accomplishments, always remember that other people are not as impressed as you think they should be. In their minds, they may attribute your success to your rival’s bad day, fortuitous circumstances, the weather or pure luck. But even if they think you deserve your accolades, they will back off in a hurry if you become your favorite topic. Few burdens are heavier to bear than a conceited person. The story is told that Mohamed Ali, when he was Cassius Clay, was once on a plane. A flight attendant asked him, “Please fasten your seatbelt.” In his typical style, he responded , “Superman don’t need no seatbelt.” She countered, “Superman don’t need no airplane either.” ^[1] Boasting is boring. Leaders keep pointing to the future, not the past.

Boasting represents man’s measurement of himself. The problem is that he may be using the wrong standard. The federal government established the Office of Weights and Measurements when the United States of America was founded to standardize measurements. Until then, it was a huge mess. For example, all of the following capacity measures were used in the colonies: the firkin, kilderkin, strike, hogshead, tierce, pipe, butt, and puncheon. Even when the same unit was used from colony to colony or locality to locality, it often did not have the same value. A bushel of oats in Connecticut weighed 28 pounds, but in New Jersey it weighed 32 pounds. By your standards, you may be phenomenal. By another’s, you may barely be mediocre. By God’s standards, you’re not even a blip on the screen. Measuring yourself by God’s standards keeps your pride in check.

But even beyond pride, shed the constraints of past accomplishments. Treat every day as a new day. If yesterday’s success is the best you can do, you’re finished.

^[1] Zuck, R. B.

Excuses Never Work

Learn responsibility.

Alexander Kuzmin, the 33 year old mayor of Megion in western Siberia came up with a great idea. In August of 2007, he issued a list of excuses that will no longer be tolerated from city employees and bureaucrats. Officials must stop using phrases such as “I don’t know” and “it’s lunch time”. Mr. Kuzmin said Megion city officials ought to improve people’s lives and help them solve their problems, not make excuses. His list consists of 27 forbidden phrases, including “there’s no money”. (BBC News, 9-1-07 ) I eagerly await the news report telling of the city’s response. No word yet.

One Father’s Day, I zeroed in on the men in the church I pastor with a subject entitled “How To Be A Real Man.” My conclusion was that “taking responsibility” was the surest way to be a real man. Among other things, I reminded them,

“Responsibility means accountability. Once a man accepts responsibility, he must commit time, money, energy. Once he accepts responsibility, he puts his reputation on the line. Once he accepts responsibility, he opens himself up for criticism.

“Here are the fundamental truths about men taking responsibility: I alone will be held accountable. I must not expect nor must I allow anyone else to do what I alone am supposed to do. I would rather fail in an honest attempt to take care of my responsibility, than fail to take responsibility. I am willing to be the most influential man in the life of my family.”

“Real men learn how to live in the real world. That means living within the parameters in which actions count. When real men make mistakes, they accept the punishment and consequences that come to them. In this way, they teach justice, truth and peace to those they serve. This also becomes a de facto method to condemn lying, fraud, violence, disrespect, hatred and other sins or vices.

There are false ways of taking responsibility: Arrogance. “I am the head of the house!” Stupidity. “Shut up and listen to me!” Anger. “I’ll teach you to never do that again!” None of these work and they do not yield legitimate authority. All attempts to take responsibility will fail if a man is not under God’s authority. When a man’s family sees that he is doing God’s will, they are far more likely to accept his authority over them.

Many reasons exist that explain why leaders do not get the job done. It could be pure laziness or indifference, or it might be that the circumstances are not right. I suspect the real reason underlying most failures, however, is a sense of inadequacy, that they just cannot make it happen. Excuses serve as a thin veneer separating them from responsibility.

Admit, don’t deny failure. If something exists within the realm of possibility, find a way to do it. Even if you have to let someone else do it for you, get it done. Never become comfortable with your excuses. Abhor them. The better you treat excuses, the longer they and their buddies will hang around.

Discipline Thyself

Learn self-discipline

Is there anything left to be said about self-discipline? Probably not, but maybe a different perspective will help us get a new handle on it. I know this: you will not shame yourself into it, you cannot strain your body and brain for more will-power to make it happen or you cannot synthesize a burst of energy out of nowhere and morph into a human dynamo. No. The reason you lack self-discipline in the first place is because your emotions militate against it. Emotional resistance will not succumb to equal but opposite emotional pressure. You need to stop and think about it. As expressed on www.everything2.com,

“A thousand times a day, at least, we choose to do things that are not the result of conscious reasoning. Plenty of those times, there are better choices. When confronted with this fact, we often defend ourselves. What we are defending is a lack of thought, and it ought to have no defense. The hollow confidence behind such expressions of the ego tends to contribute to the tearing down of self-discipline.”

First, failure to discipline yourself does not represent an inability to choose. No one has stripped from you the right to determine your own behavior. No self discipline means you are making the wrong choice. Lying in bed when you should get up is simply choosing one behavior over another. Do not say to yourself, “I can’t get up.” Say, “I can get up but I choose to lay here in bed and accomplish nothing.” When you do not write the report that you should write, when you do not make the phone call you should make, when you do not exercise your body when you should, you exercise this same privilege of choice. Your choice of inaction means that you could just as easily have chosen to act. Telling yourself otherwise is self deception.

Second, self discipline deserves loving, not loathing. It cuts out the fat that has glommed on to your soul. It releases the vibrancy of life locked up within your bones. It gathers up all the potential power wasting away in your being and sets it afire. Self discipline is a huge bolt cutter that chomps through the steel chains wrapped around your arms and legs, setting you free to do what you were created to do. It is an emancipator, not an executioner; a redeemer, not a captor. Self discipline can write the check for your costliest dreams. Until you see it as an ally, you will never fully submit to its demands.

Finally, the unfortunate connotation about self discipline is that no one can help you. Not true. You need the input from friends, relatives, teachers, coaches, mentors and advisors, especially in the formative years, in order to remain securely engaged in self discipline. Blessed are those whose parents imposed strong discipline upon them as children. In my personal conviction, discipline is not something a parent does to a child; it is something a parent does for a child. The youth who emerges from childhood with self discipline firmly in hand is fortunate indeed.

Think of the difference between a disciplined and an undisciplined life as the difference between a power grid crackling with thousands of volts of generated electricity versus a bolt of raw lightning flashing across the sky. The one is methodical, the other spectacular. The harnessed electricity in the grid, however, powers thousands of homes. The lightening creates a great commotion, and then it’s gone. Self discipline does not suppress, it compresses your effectiveness into a concentrated form.

“In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves…self-discipline with all of them came first.” –Harry S. Truman

Assumptions Are Dangerous

Learn communication.

During rush hour on August 1, 2007 , the I-35W bridge over the Mississippi in Minneapolis , Minnesota collapsed, plunging dozens of cars and riders into the river. The disaster caused a huge traffic snarl, called public infrastructure into question, and created a public outcry. But not one driver has been faulted for negligence in driving over the bridge without first making sure it would bear the weight of an automobile. Why? Because, as drivers, we rightfully assume that architects and engineers designed the bridge to carry the load. Such assumptions are necessary risks. In routine living, we have to take a whole lot for granted or else we would be immobilized by checking everything out before we act. Do you want to verify that every bridge you cross on the highway will hold you up? Do you want to lab test every bite of food you get in a restaurant? No. We can make reasonable assumptions about many things in life.

By definition, however, assumptions are dangerous. To assume means to believe something without proof or investigation. In leadership, we assume that people know what we are talking about. We assume that they share the same goals as ours. We assume that they know the basics of a plan or project before we turn a job over to them. We assume they listen, they think, they understand and that they will follow the rules. Leaders need to grasp the fact that they can rise or fall on the validity of their assumptions.

While we cannot guarantee one hundred percent accuracy, the best defense against false assumptions remains thorough communication. Anything that you believe to be critical to a project or plan must not be left to the vagaries of assumption. People cannot read your mind. If you are curious about what can go wrong if you walk away from a situation without dispensing a complete plan from stem to stern, just go online and Google Murphy’s Law. My favorite version is this: “If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. (Extreme version: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the FIRST to go wrong.)” Then, there is the 344^th Law of Communication. “The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.” It’s not quite that bad.

There are several reasons why leaders fail to communicate comprehensively. They have already thought through the plan and mentally, they have projected themselves beyond it. They overestimate the ability of their subordinates to understand the process. They become impatient, bored, overanxious or feel pressured by a deadline. Or maybe, they themselves don’t know what they’re talking about and they hope their subordinates can figure it out!

Communicate more than you think is necessary, and always leave open the possibility to explain even further.  If you make your people feel stupid for asking questions, you cut your own throat. The more they know, the better they can produce the work. In addition, tell why you want them to do something, not just what you want them to do. You increase the value of your followers when you include them in the whole reasoning process.

In leadership, your best assumption is to assume nothing until you know enough about your people.

Be Real

Learn honesty.

Kid McCoy got hit hard during a boxing match and pretended to be injured, drawing his opponent in and counterattacking him. McCoy, the USA champ in the welterweight division from 1898-1900, so surprised everyone with his move that the announcer supposedly asked, “Which is the real McCoy?” This is only one of several legends grown up about the origin of the well-known phrase, which makes one wonder if this tale is the real McCoy.

Lack of authenticity is the nemesis of a good conscience. The gap between the ideal and the reality might be called the phoniness quotient. You know who you are supposed to be but you struggle to match it up with who you really are. No less a figure than the Apostle Paul fought the same battle. “I do not understand what I do,” he wrote. “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me…For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:15-18 NIV). An unlikely confession from the greatest Christian who ever lived…or maybe, not.

Paul, after all, was nothing if he wasn’t honest. We talk in glowing terms about his considerable accomplishments, but he had another side to him. He had bad eyesight, a squeaky, irritating voice and his small stature give him a rather unimpressive physical presence. He got crossways with Simon Peter, he was difficult to please, and he couldn’t get along with the mild mannered Barnabus. He prayed prayers that God refused to answer, preached unproductive sermons, suffered resounding defeats in major missionary endeavors and failed to convert a number of people whom he specifically targeted for the gospel. At certain points in his ministry, he dropped out and went to work as a tentmaker.

These are not sour grape criticisms from Paul’s detractors. We know these things about him because he admitted them himself. In his own self assessment, he concluded that he was less than the least of all saints. But, these conspicuous weaknesses do not diminish him in our eyes. Rather, the fact that he reveals them himself further endears him to us, giving him far more credibility than if he had glossed over them. Herein lies a primary principle of life: the unvarnished truth always earns more respect in the long run than manipulation of the facts.

Brutal honesty does not mean we have to be offensive, or that we should hang out our dirty laundry for all the world to see. It does mean that any behavior that is intended to make people believe a sham is disingenuous. Leaders, by virtue of their position, come under the microscope far more than laity. Leaders must not only be right, they must project the appearance of righteousness as well.

Be real. If you don’t know something, don’t say you do. If you can’t do something, don’t say you can. You may not particularly like who you are, but you will always make a lousier somebody else. Maybe you don’t have much else going for you, but your insistence on being the genuine article will make up for whatever you lack.

You Do Have to Please Somebody

Learn implementation.

You can’t please everybody. That’s the conventional wisdom, not to mention common sense. Principled leaders whose reputations fuel the history books supposedly have always followed this sage advice. We assume they did the right thing because it was right, regardless of who was for or against it. Before you grab this and run, however, understand that, while you might not be able to please everybody, you’ll never get anywhere without pleasing certain people. You sure don’t want to dis-please everybody. In fact, the cost of displeasing even a few certain individuals may be suicidal. Sound complicated? It might be, but implementing a brilliant plan can be more critical to the ultimate success than conceiving the plan in the first place.

Here is the scenario. You have a vision that promises to revolutionize the world—at least your world. Your eyes light up and you get animated with excitement as you begin talking about it. Then, responses start trickling in and to your surprise, you look into expressionless faces, raised eyebrows and even a few sneers. The slow burn begins. In your gut, you know you’re right, but the opposition seems too formidable to be overcome. Time for a decision. Do you railroad the idea through because you know it’s the best thing to do, or do you step back and figure out if, when and how it can be done? Forcing a good plan into becoming a reality before factoring in all the caveats can be tragic. Even the greatest ideas in the world have to be sold.

For example, who would dispute the basic concept that national security is a great idea? President George W. Bush and his administration discovered, however, that hammering the idea into a workable, acceptable plan posed insurmountable problems. Do we profile terrorists? Should we spy on American citizens? Are we right to deny due process to American citizens whom we have arrested as enemy combatants and imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay ? Implementation challenges like these underscore the difficulty of making an idea—even a noble one—translate into a practical reality.

Implementing a plan comes down to “political calculus,” a term politicians and government types use to chart the path of an idea from inception to the done deal. “Government acts only when key individuals within that government find their political arithmetic works.” www.affordablehousinginstitute.org The following questions are critical to the process: Do you have enough influence to make it happen? Will you have to do trade-offs? What will it cost you to win? What will it cost you to lose? Can you persuade people to commit to the idea? What will be the benefit of the plan?

Machiavellian overtones aside, wise strategists cannot afford to spurn the implementation process. Sources for financial backing, moral support, good will and enthusiastic commitment have names and faces. They have feelings, leanings, ambitions and convictions. They have reputations and families. Righteous causes poorly managed can turn into colossal failures.

Pleasing the right people cannot and must not mean sacrificing your convictions. It does mean that no leader operates in a vacuum or that people are immaterial to the cause. You must work with people, through people and for people (and, yes, around some people) to achieve your ultimate objective of helping people.

Eschew Arrogance

Learn objectivity.

“I think you ought to know something about me. I can dish it out, but I can’t take it!” This attempt at a joke by a friend of mine is actually way too true for a lot of people. Sharp tongues always seem to go with touchy feelings. The ability to take criticism, however, serves as a hallmark for learning. If the criticism hits the mark, be thankful because you have learned something. If it is off target, you can at least be glad for passing the test with flying colors. Why, then, do most people jump on the defensive when they hear criticism? Because they cannot personally disengage themselves from the process long enough to achieve objectivity. Subjectivity may affirm your feelings, but objectivity leads to substantive improvement.

Take it from me, a reluctant critic who has too often been coerced into the position. My life in ministry has thrown me into the unenviable roles of a critic, a judge, a mentor and confidant. I’ve had to reprimand church members for a wide range of misbehaviors, I’ve had to criticize spouses on the job they were doing as a husband or wife, I’ve had to score tests and grade essays as a teacher in our Christian Academy, I’ve had to critique sermons for prospective ministers and I’ve had to deal with licensed ministers who suffered a lapse in their professional conduct. As unpleasant as the job is, I can tell you that my goal has always been to repair, restore, edify and to add ultimate value to the subject of my disapproval. Furthermore, I save my most passionate criticisms for those whom I believe have the most to gain. I want them to do well because they have great potential for success. On the other hand, if I feel that an individual will pay scant attention to my words, I am likely to save my breath.

Many people know that Jesus had a close relationship with his disciple, Simon Peter, but Bible scholars know that Jesus reserved his most scathing reproof for this same disciple. It came on the heels of Peter’s confession that Jesus was indeed the Christ. Jesus then went on to break the news that he would be crucified, prompting a vehement protest from Peter. Jesus said to him, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Matthew 16:23. In a few short moments, Peter fell from a divine commendation to a stinging rebuke. Jesus took this liberty to chastise Peter so strongly because he knew what lie ahead and that Peter would be major player in the establishment of the primitive church. Indeed, on the Day of Pentecost, Peter became the spokesman for the disciples and led the church through its instantaneous growth, its first persecution, its initial organizational form and he broke down the racial barrier that kept the Gentiles from joining the church.

Contrast this with Jesus’ interaction with Judas. Aside from one veiled reference to Judas as a traitor (Matthew 6:71), Jesus issued no rebuke to him. Even on the night of the Passover supper, Jesus gave a morsel of bread to Judas and bade him to do his deed quickly. The other disciples had no idea what this all meant. Jesus, however, knew that Judas had already committed himself to betrayal. Constructive criticism would have been a lost cause.

Arrogant rejection of criticism means a lost learning experience. Welcome it. Don’t permit defensiveness, insecurity or subjectivity to classify criticism as an attack. It is far better to be humbled and corrected like Simon Peter than to evade your critics and continue down the pathway of failure.

Control Your Own Spirit

Learn yourself.

A well-know rule of the legal profession states that a lawyer should never ask a witness a question without already knowing the answer. An overconfident attorney who presumes to know more than the facts permit may ask a careless question and risk getting an unanticipated response that can blow a case to smithereens. In ministry, it is extremely dangerous for a leader to breeze into a situation without understanding how he or she may react to a given problem. Hidden agendas, surprise attacks and irrational outbursts can come out of nowhere to stun an unwitting leader. Unknown factors always have the potential to touch a nerve and elicit inappropriate responses from people, including the leader.

Several years ago, the matriarch of a large family in the church I pastor went into emergency surgery with the assurance of success. Something went wrong on the operating table, however, and she did not survive. When I arrived at the scene, over forty of her distraught children, grandchildren, siblings and other relatives had flooded the waiting room, and the place was in an uproar. Some were screaming, some were crying, some were praying in a shrill voice, and others were shouting angrily at the health care personnel. The doctor stood silently, his eyes darting around the room and his lips bluing with a twinge of fear. He couldn’t have been happier to see me. My long association with the family gave me the ability to quell the uprising and when they quieted down, the doctor gave his report and quickly vanished. I stayed and dealt with each of the emotions and reactions until the group dispersed. Had I encountered this problem early on in my ministerial career, I may not have succeeded. But, my ministry style developed over a forty year span of experience prepared me for situations like this, in part because I knew how I would react.

Merely being a leader does not exempt you from negative emotions like anger, touchiness, bad temper, mood swings, impatience or prejudicial feelings. Raw, human passion comprises the personality of a leader as much as any other person. If anything, these traits can become amplified in leaders. This is a critical observation because ministry leaders get pulled into a cross section of volatile situations that can push all of their buttons at once. Disasters are likely to happen when leaders do not take the time to recognize their human weaknesses and examine their own reactionary tendencies. For example, if you go berserk when you catch someone in a lie, or if you lose it when someone shouts an obscenity at you, or if you become disgusted with a drug addict who has ignored your counsel for the twentieth time, then you are destroying your own ability to help. When you face the worst in human behavior, you must respond with your best in leadership.

The key to knowing yourself is found in the title to the chapter: control. Envision a steering wheel fastened to each problem you encounter. Reach out and take hold of it. When you grab it, you will have a sense of control that will make the matter manageable. Self-knowledge or knowledge of the circumstances are helpful only to the extent that you can take control over the wheel.