Admit it. You think certain thoughts about the people you see around you. You may not say them out loud, but you know what you think. And, sometimes, you do whisper things about others to your spouse or to a close friend. If you do this, don’t you think others do the same thing? Don’t you know that people talk about you when you leave the room? If you don’t, get your head out of the sand.
So, what exactly do they say when you can’t hear them? It probably covers the whole gamut; from what you look like to how you behave. Their negative comments might sound something like this:
- You’re fat.
- You don’t take care of yourself.
- You smell bad.
- Your nose is too big.
- Your ears look like Dumbo.
- Your clothes don’t match.
- You have bad breath.
- You speak with a lisp.
- Your wardrobe has a malfunction.
- You talk too much.
- You’re a braggart.
- You think you’re so funny.
- You’re stupid.
- You’re a gossip.
- All you do is complain.
- Did you hear what they did last week?
- If I hear one more word about that surgery, I’ll go crazy.
- You brighten up a room by leaving.
Okay. This is getting depressing. People do say some positive things about you in your absence.
- I really like him/her.
- You are so attractive/handsome.
- You look nice.
- You dress so sharp.
- You are hilarious.
- You make people work better.
- You’re so smart.
- You never have a bad word to say about anybody.
Actually, that’s all the positive things I can think of right now. That’s kind of depressing too! At any rate, the whole point of this exercise is that you are not the invisible person that you might think you are. People notice you and they have opinions about you. But, why don’t they say things to your face? Why is our culture so structured that people feel inhibited in expressing their opinions to you in a way that you could benefit from them?
Of course, we don’t want people to feel bad or get angry with us, but if we talk about them behind their backs, how is that any better? The Bible teaches us to speak the truth in love. If there is something you could genuinely change in a person just by taking them aside and talking sincerely with them, shouldn’t you try? Put the shoe on the other foot. Do you want people to talk about you behind your back? Wouldn’t you rather have them say what they have to say to your face? At least you could have an honest conversation.
Anyway, that’s my thought for today. And if you have a comment, don’t say it behind my back. Tell me. I’m a big boy. I can take it. If you don’t want me to know what you’re thinking, keep it to yourself!