“For if a man think himself to be something…” Galatians 6:3
Few callings outside the ministry demand such a total blend of professional qualifications with personal character. Anyone who goes forward with a ministerial career must understand that one’s true personality and character is inextricably woven into the calling. Before an aspiring minister takes the first step to turning a dream into a reality, he or she should be prepared to answer these questions: Who am I? Do I really know myself? Why am I the way I am? Self-analysis may be difficult, but every prospective minister has to know basic facts about his or her true self, and be able to interpret those facts as objectively as possible. Superficial answers to questions such as name, gender, race, height, weight, family background and other details that identify us will not suffice here. The quest must go deeper than the obvious.
To bring the question of personal identity into sharper focus, let us look at other traits. In socioeconomic terms, do you consider yourself as upper, middle or lower class? Do you come from a high, moderate or low income family? Do you possess skills or talents that are recognized by others, or are you simply an average person? Are you athletic? Are you attractive or plain? What is your IQ? What is the extent of your education?
What is your range of interests? Are you a reader? Do you like to talk to people? Do you prefer a dynamic, changing environment or are you more comfortable in dealing with solid and stable situations? Are you traditional and predictable or can you be creative and wild? When you were growing up, were you exposed to a variety of cultural or geographical settings? Are you a homebody or do you have a penchant for travel? The answers to these questions help reveal your true identity.
Even further, can you identify your basic personality? Is your health good? Have you had serious physical problems in the past? Were your parents permissive or strict disciplinarians? Have you been a failure or a success in your life’s endeavors? Have you suffered from discrimination or prejudice? Have you been touched by death, divorce or personal tragedy? Are you a victim of physical, sexual, psychological or emotional abuse? These questions may seem improper and too personal. You may even feel that they are irrelevant to the anointing and call of God on your life. Perhaps you look at negative experiences in your life as mere obstacles to be overcome, or you consider your positive attributes as enhancing your ministry. Whatever your reaction to this self-examination may be, it is vital for you to understand the things that define you as a person. They represent your ground zero. Your truthful answers will give you a frank, honest and real beginning to your ministry.
Investigating one’s personal past is difficult because truth often hurts. Addressing truths that have been long buried and denied may be particularly excruciating. You will undoubtedly dredge up defining moments when you felt rejection, ridicule, loss and embarrassment. Do it anyway. Calvin Miller, in The Empowered Leader, says, “Self-analysis is hard work! It is tiring work! It is endless work!” But the anticipated outcome has less to do with psychological or emotional well-being than with a deep understanding of how you affect the people you lead. Your influence, your effectiveness and your relationships---all of your real-life circumstances---grow inexorably out of your identity.
In the Bible, those who played significant roles emerged from diverse backgrounds. Their usefulness as God’s servants was profoundly affected by their differing experiences. Moses, for example, came of age in Pharaoh’s courts. This directly influenced his call to return to Egypt to lead the Israelites out of slavery. His experiences as an infant who escaped a massacre, as a fugitive from the law, and as a shepherd for forty years in the desert tempered his leadership. Moses also had very noticeable speech impediment. “And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.” Exodus 4:10. One could argue that this weakness significantly shaped Moses’ personality and demeanor.
Examples of these phenomena exist throughout the Bible. Leaders like Saul, David, Daniel, Isaiah, Paul and Peter bore unmistakable influences of their experiences and culture upon their leadership. In fact, one cannot possibly understand these men and the decisions they made without carefully examining their roots. Judging from some individuals, King David and the Apostle Paul for instance, it is clear that God chose special people for certain roles because of their unique individual traits.
This fact is strongly borne out in Paul’s letter to the Philippians. “Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more:Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.” Philippians 3:1-8. While Paul renounces any present spiritual value of these events and earmarks of his upbringing, he still refers to them because they form the backdrop to his devotion to Christ and to his ministry. Had they been insignificant details of his past life, referencing them would have been of little value. The force of Paul’s apostleship, while it was definitely a product of his encounter with God on the road to Damascus , still consisted largely of his former identity with the Judaistic hierarchy, and of his personality traits of zeal and passion.
Over a hundred years ago, sociologist Edwin H. Sutherland proposed a theory about the origins of delinquency and crime. His theory, differential association, posited that criminal behavior is learned through social interaction with others. One of the key elements to the theory is that persons learn criminal behavior by associating with intimate, personal groups.
Although Sutherland focused on specifically on criminals, scholars have applied his idea to other venues. The result is that differential association has been validated in many other applications. Actually, the theory is an enlargement on the old maxim that “birds of a feather flock together.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” The principle Sutherland articulated explains the process by which all of us develop our identities, and can define the end result of the process with a fair amount of accuracy.
Today, every minister represents a composite of background experiences, cultural identities, mindsets, dysfunctions biases and values. Like a color chart with its thousands of shades, these traits exist in varying degrees, forms and strengths. If a minister is unmindful of this, and many times even with intimate self-knowledge, his or her strongest thrust will be exerted toward those ideals and values that are closest to the heart.
Consider for a moment how different people from differing backgrounds and experiences would approach their ministries: A former Navy SEAL; a college professor; a star athlete; a former Marine sergeant; a factory worker; a successful farmer; a union official; a former gang leader; a person delivered from alcohol; a former drug addict; a computer expert; a musician; the founder of a business; a truck driver; a contractor; a pastor’s daughter or son. In my observation of ministers with these or similar backgrounds, the style and tone of their ministries have been largely predictable along the lines of their past training. The SEAL values intensity and focus; the college professor emphasizes intellectual pursuits; the athlete brings supreme confidence to the pulpit; the Marine expects military-like responses from his congregation, and so on.
What impact would personal characteristics such as obesity, an amputated limb, a strikingly handsome appearance, superior intelligence or a thick accent have on an individual’s ministry? Is one’s ministry affected if he or she is unmarried? Does it matter if the minister is married and has several children? What if the minister lost a child to disease or an accident? We could go on creating endless scenarios. Regardless of the circumstances, a high probability exists that each factor will create a unique and discernable difference in a person’s ministry. Ministers will demonstrate a bias toward those deeply held personal traits with which they identify the strongest. While the spiritual side of the ministerial equation remains constant from person to person, this human side differs dramatically. This means that the minister’s effectiveness will never be solely a function of God’s power and faithfulness. It will also reflect the minister’s response to his or her own humanity.
Let’s put this as plainly as possible: Your personal identity will profoundly influence your ministerial style, your goals, your decisions and proclaimed values. Not only will this principle be born out in your ministry, it cannot be any other way. You cannot be someone you are not, nor can you deny the person you are. In a sense, you are pre-programmed to operate in a certain mode.
Several observations need to be made about the way you see yourself and how it may affect your ministry.
Know your personal strengths and weaknesses. This step involves two things: awareness and admission. First, you must be aware of the kinds of strengths and weaknesses you possess, and second, you must admit that they make a difference in your leadership and ministry. For example, a minister raised in an abusive environment will show telltale signs of those painful experiences---whether in preaching, teaching, counseling, goal-setting and decision-making. Any attempt to deny this bias will lead to false constructs for leadership and bring about noticeable consequences. This minister may develop harshness in tone or become sarcastic, demanding, negative or mistrustful. Unless the connection can be made between ministry and background, the minister may never fully understand the forces that drive him or her.
Calvin Miller refers to David’s encounter with Goliath to illustrate this point. He writes,
“David, in 1 Samuel 17:26 , was a person in touch with both his limitations and the unlimited power of God. He turned outward to consider the crisis, not thinking of all his personal weaknesses. No paralysis intimidated David! What was to be done? David was not sure: wringing his hands would not help.
“Then come questions from a foe that David must first process and then reply to: ‘Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?’ (1 Samuel 17:26, NIV). David must first answer Goliath’s question, not so Goliath will know who David is, but so that David himself will know who David is. Without knowing who he is, David cannot assess his strengths and weaknesses and be reminded of his need to depend on God.” (The Empowered Leader).
Understand why you are passionate about certain things. When you listen to numerous preachers over a long period of time, you can discern a good sermon from a great one. Good sermons may be homiletically correct and scripturally sound, but they may not inspire their audiences. In contrast, great messages may lack some qualities of good sermon crafting, but they flow out of a passionate heart and evoke great responses. Most preachers get excited over certain topics. Some call them “candy sticks” or “hot buttons.” These topics, whatever they may be, usually fire them up. As we reflect on this trait, the operative question to ask is why. The obvious answer is that we become emotional over subjects that touch a nerve, subjects that connect us to some deeply moving experience or feeling in our past. Do you know what stirs your passions? If you don’t know, find out. When you find out, ask why.
Passion finds expression in other avenues of ministry besides the pulpit. Passion seriously influences vision casting, counseling sessions, business procedures and decisions, physical plant management, leadership training, interpersonal relationships and many other areas of ministerial functions. You will revert over and over to habits, opinions and positions that have the greatest significance in your life. Again, the point is not necessarily to interpret or even change your feelings (unless they are wrong), but to understand the forces and events that drive you.
What responses do you elicit from the people God has called you to serve? Do they support you? Resist you? Ignore you? Listen to you? The value of self-inquiry lies in this analysis. If you find success and blessing in your ministry, don’t just wave it off. You need to know why. Similarly, whenever you go through the inevitable times of difficulty, don’t begin to copy someone else’s ministry. Many times, successful ministers get off message and experiment with things that don’t work for them. People tend to respond positively to your strengths, but negatively to your weaknesses.
On the other hand, if your words or actions cause people to scratch their heads and wonder what’s going on or if you find yourself constantly antagonizing and frustrating the saints, you may think something is wrong with them. Some ministers address this situation by increasing their decibel level, displaying anger or lacing their sermons with sarcasm and thinly-veiled references to church members. Others quote scriptures excessively that reinforce their position, but avoid passages that mitigate against them. These mechanisms do not offer effective solutions. Greater understanding does. When you seek to understand yourself, you wind up understanding others as well.
How do you begin this journey of self-examination? Try using sentences like, “The reason I say ______ is because I heard my father say ________ so often.” Or, “I wonder if I always do _____ because I remember what happened when I was ______.” Also, listen carefully to criticism you may receive from certain people outspoken enough to give it to you. Before assigning a malicious motive to their comments, ask yourself if there is an element of truth to what they say. You will never understand if you always jump on the defensive. This may be a divinely ordained opportunity to learn. Run the criticism by a mentor or a friend so they can coach you for a brief moment. If you want to be coached effectively, accept and heed criticism.
In summary, these are the important steps you must take in understanding who you are and why you do what you do.
Oswald Sanders in his classic work, Spiritual Leadership, includes this insightful quotation: “A great statesman made a speech that turned the tide in national affairs. ‘May I ask how long it took you to prepare that speech?’ asked an admirer. ‘All my life has been a preparation for what I said today,” was the reply.”
As you stand at the threshold of a call into the ministry, your focus may center on the deep and compelling desire you have to work for God. You feel a strange combination of excitement and anxiety, of anticipation and dread, and of faith in God’s empowerment and fear of your own inadequacies. The thrust of your desire may be so strong, however, that you may run past some very significant stops along the way. You must never forget that the divine impetus that drives you can only work through the human faculties that you possess. You are the filter through whom God ministers to the people in your care.